Captain shits his pants.

1

2 TERRORIST BASTARDS HAVE A BUNCH OF HOSTAGES THEY ARE ABOUT TO SHOOT.

TERRORIST1

Prepare to die mu ha ha!

CAPTAIN SHITS HIMSELF RUNS ON.

CAPTAIN

Hold it there evil doers it is I captain Shits his Pants!

LOUD FARTING NOISE.

TERRORIST2

Did you just shit yourself, captain Shits his pants.

CAPTAIN

I can't help it, I had McDonald's for lunch and it goes straight through me.

TERRORIST1

You dirty bastard.

CAPTAIN

It's a medical complaint.

THE HOSTAGES ESCAPE WHILST THE TERRORISTS ARE DISTRACTED.

THE SAS COME IN AND SHOOT THE TERRORIST

A SENIOR POLICE OFFICER WALKS ON.

POLICE

Well done captain Shits his pants on behalf of a grateful nation can I present you with; a pack of wet wipes and some clean pants.

2

THE JUSTICE LEAGUE ARE SITTING AROUND THEIR TABLE LOOKING EMBARASSED.

CAPTAIN SHITS HIS PANTS WALKS AWAY WITH A LITTLE SUITCASE.

CAPTAIN

It's a medical condition you wankers.

So Captain shits his pants uses the art of misdirection then, interesting.

Your description of 'terrorist bastards' was a bit partial though I thought.

I wanted to be clear they weren't the nice kind.

Not your finest hour.

I don't know whether it's more apt to label this sketch pants or...
Nah, not your best

Oh I really liked it, well amybe an expanded version could work better.

I laughed!!!

I feel like I should comment on this as I wrote a few 'Captain' sketches myself yesterday. This isn't for me (I have an ingrained aversion to scat humour) but done in a certain way it might have some merit as a kind of Viz strip. The first one needs a less (pardon the pun) thudding punchline though.

Oh every one's been writing superhero's for ever.

But youze right I saw it as a cartoonn strip in a Viz stylee.

Maybe it's worth submitting it...

Quote: sootyj @ November 21 2008, 11:32 AM GMT

Oh every one's been writing superhero's for ever.

But youze right I saw it as a cartoonn strip in a Viz stylee.

Maybe it's worth submitting it...

View original

I didn't mean anything by saying that we both wrote superhero sketches; I just meant that since we both went with that subject and you commented on mine, I felt it only fair I should do the same.

I have always been aware that you sir are a gentleman

Quote: sootyj @ November 21 2008, 11:51 AM GMT

I have always been aware that you sir are a gentleman

View original

And an Ossifier. That's right, I'm capable of transforming muscle tissue into bone.

Gentleman....and a scholar

but

Officer... and a gentleman. Captain Pedantic strikes again

Sounds like a useful super power.

Captain Boner.

Fight's evil by turning bone headed bad guys into bone.