Assylum seeker dad.

TIM IS ARGUING WITH HIS MUM IN A SCRUFFY COUNCIL HOUSE.

MUM

Tim I'm horrified, excluded from school again. What the hell's the matter with you? You hit a teacher the police were called.

TIM

Suck your mum, mum. Mr Fredricks was dissin' me innit, telling me to turn the choons off on my mobie innit.

MUM

Oh Timmy do you have to speak like that, you used to speak so nicely.

TIM

Yeh till you drove dad off you mother f**ker mother. Then you took that clart in, he's a f**king assylum seeker, you shamed me so bad.

MUM

Your step father is a wonderful man and he loves you like you were his own son.
It's not his fault the Dr destroyed his entire species.

A DALEK ROLLS INTO THE KITCHEN.

DALEK

What has the little bastard done now? I will exterminate him, exterminate, exterminate!

TIM

You're not my father Dalek Radzojec.

I have no idea what's going on here but I'm enjoying another of your telling spellings.

Damnation I thought it was completely translucent.

It's one of a series of sketches wandering what would have happened to any Daleks that survived the last episode.?

In this case claim assylum and hook up with a single mum.

Thus causing her confused teenage son to misbehave.

I think I did better when they opened a restaurant.

Quote: sootyj @ November 19 2008, 10:02 AM GMT

It's one of a series of sketches wandering what would have happened to any Daleks that survived the last episode.?

View original

David don't watch Doctor Who Sooty. He's a sick man.

Aah isn't there a special register for people like him, so they can be get an eye on?

Quote: sootyj @ November 19 2008, 10:20 AM GMT

Aah isn't there a special register for people like him, so they can be get an eye on?

View original

I say we round them up and place them in some sort of 'work camp'. Shave their heads, gas them, then bury them in giant pits. And say bad things about their mothers.

I was thinking more along the lines of SFX available on the NHS and social workers to assess their progress back into society.

Maybe support groups and free counselling from nerds?

Quote: sootyj @ November 19 2008, 10:30 AM GMT

I was thinking more along the lines of SFX available on the NHS and social workers to assess their progress back into society.

Maybe support groups and free counselling from nerds?

View original

I still think just killing them all would be easier. Killing them dead.

Sometimes there is a good reason not to.

Maybe social workers from Harringay then?

That'd do the trick.

Instead of an eastern european-type name, maybe call him Dalek Rad.

Quote: sootyj @ November 19 2008, 9:25 AM GMT

TIM IS ARGUING WITH HIS MUM IN A SCRUFFY COUNCIL HOUSE.

MUM

Tim I'm horrified, excluded from school again. What the hell's the matter with you? You hit a teacher the police were called.

TIM

Suck your mum, mum. Mr Fredricks was dissin' me innit, telling me to turn the choons off on my mobie innit.

MUM

Oh Timmy do you have to speak like that, you used to speak so nicely.

TIM

Yeh till you drove dad off you mother f**ker mother. Then you took that clart in, he's a f**king assylum seeker, you shamed me so bad.

MUM

Your step father is a wonderful man and he loves you like you were his own son.
It's not his fault the Dr destroyed his entire species.

A DALEK ROLLS INTO THE KITCHEN.

DALEK

What has the little bastard done now? I will exterminate him, exterminate, exterminate!

TIM

You're not my father Dalek Radzojec.

View original

The BBC don't allow their Daleks to be used in comedy. Trust me on that one. They're very protective of "The most evil creatures in the universe". I shit you not.

This was more for my own pleasure, Terry Nation's estate is most litigous.

Didja like this little fella though?

Quote: Lee Henman @ November 19 2008, 11:27 AM GMT

The BBC don't allow their Daleks to be used in comedy. Trust me on that one. They're very protective of "The most evil creatures in the universe". I shit you not.

View original

TV Offal's "Gay Daleks" anyone?

Got in a lot of trouble.

It's not so much the BBC, it's Terry Nation's estate.