Pirates yaaa!

A MAN AND A WOMAN ARE BUYING A CAR.

WOMAN

Brian I don't care if there is a ruddy credit crunch you're tighter than an ugly choir boys' anus.

MAN

But Margarie I love a bargain.

WOMAN

Yes well I think this cardealer is a crook, the cars have obviously all been resprayed.

MAN

Shh he's coming.

A PIRATE HOPS ON STAGE.

PIRATE

Yaarrr how ye be doin' ye land lubbers?

MAN

We want a nice big vehicle, with lots of boot space.

PIRATE

How do ye like this fine vehicel, it has 1 million cubic feet of boot space.

WOMAN

You rob dog, that's the hijacked oil liner stolen by Somali pirates.

PIRATE

Yaa it has a DVD player and 30 DVDs which be including Quantum of Solace.

WOMAN

Ooh that's alright then.

MAN

Get away from him Margarie, Quantum of Solace isn't due on DVD for a month.
He's clearly a pirate!

Hm. Not for me that, I don't think. That's for News Revue I take it?

It is indeed, you're not a great fan of my ouvre?

Quote: sootyj @ November 18 2008, 10:23 PM GMT

It is indeed, you're not a great fan of my ouvre?

View original

More I'm not a great fan of topical stuff; it's not my bag. I used to write it a bit, for NR and TS, but really only to see if I could and to have stuff performed.

Nice idea, especially liked the cubic feet line. Though she'd already mentioned he's a Somali pirate before the final line.

some other ideas: rather than the resprayed line could say "some don't even have wheels". And how bout selling the fact it can pick up "pirate radio". Though that's another sketch entirely.