SCENE; A TYPICAL THERAPY GROUP A GROUP LEADER SITS INSIDE A CIRCLE OF PEOPLE FACING THE CENTRE
Man 1
I'm John and I'm an alcoholic,
Man 2
I'm Steve and I'm an alcoholic
SOOTYJ
I'm Sooty and I used to be an alcoholic
GROUP LEADER
You used to be?
SOOTYJ
Yes, I've been diagnosed with BSG, and it's seriously affected my drinking
GROUP LEADER
BSG?
SOOTYJ
Yes people don't think it's a real disease, but to anyone who has it it's a living nightmare.
GROUP LEADER
So what is BSG?
SOOTYJ
It's a bloody comedy forum and I can't stop writing,
GROUP LEADER
Writing?
SOOTYJ
Yes, sketches, jokes, even a documentart
GROUP LEADER
Documentart?
SOOTYJ
Yea, I'm bloody comedy dyslexic too, I wouldn't mind but half of my jokes aren't even funny.
GROUP LEADER
But how can we help?
SOOTYJ
Get me back on the sauce, I was fine until you lot got me off it, now look at me I don't drink, I can't hold a cigarette because I've got white finger from typing so much, I might as well cancel my Sky TV, and I don't even have time for internet porn anymore.
GROUP LEADER
I don't really think we can help
SOOTYJ
Please please, if you don't do something I'll end up doing something really stupid like writing a sitcom
GROUP LEADER
I have an idea
THE CLASS LEADER GOES TO HIS COMPUTER AND PRINTS OFF REAMS OF PAPER
GROUP LEADER
There you go Sooty, this should do the trick
SOOTYJ
What is it?
GROUP LEADER
It's your last 200 posts I want you to sit down and read them, if they don't drive you to drink nothing will!
