Dancing politics sketch

GEORGE OSBOURNE IS IDLY PICKING THE PETALS OFF A FLOWER

GO:
He sacks me…He sacks me not…He sacks me…He sacks me not….

ENTER PETER MANDELSON

PM (WALTZING IN):
What's the matter Georgie?

GO:
Didn't you hear, Mandy? One in twelve people in London are going to lose their jobs. And David says the odds are even shorter for me.

PM (CHEERILY):
Oh, cheer up grumpy pants. If you get sacked you can still become an MEP

GO:
Aw, but THEN how am I going to meet a nice young Oligarch and his yacht?

PM:
Become an MEP! But I (LOOKS SMUG) have a cunning plan.

GO:
Oh, not another of your "it's perfectly legal" schemes is it? I've had enough scandals for one week thank you.

PM:
This one's foolproof Georgie. I'm going to go on Strictly come Dancing. Where
else do the public vote in their droves for a smug-faced git with little aptitude?

GO:
Ooh! We SHALL go to the ball (BEAT) and meet more wealthy benefactors.

PM:
I rather had I'm a Celebrity in Mind for you, Georgie. You could join Kilroy on Desert Island Di**s

The concept is great, but if that's a pop at Jon Sergeant, you've made an enemy in me, my friend!!

Good sketch though, I like the ending!

Nah, was listening to Five Live and one of the listeners called him smug, and it fit Mandy and Osbourne so thought I'd use it.

D'oh, just changed the ending - don't know which you mean now

I like the idea of them dancing off screen more. The desert island d**k line is potentially a sketch in itself. Just Kilroy Silk walking round an island being an arse.

Come to think of it...

Gave it a little tweak given recent events:

GEORGE OSBOURNE IS IDLY PICKING THE PETALS OFF A FLOWER

GO:
He sacks me…He sacks me not…He sacks me…He sacks me not….

ENTER PETER MANDELSON

PM (WALTZING IN):
What's the matter Georgie?

GO:
Didn't you hear, Mandy? One in twelve people in London are going to lose their jobs. And David says the odds are even shorter for me.

PM (CHEERILY):
Oh, cheer up grumpy pants. If you get sacked you can still become an MEP

GO:
Aw, but THEN how am I going to meet a nice young Oligarch and his yacht?

PM:
Become an MEP! But I have a cunning plan.

GO:
Oh, not another of your "it's perfectly legal" schemes is it? I've had enough scandals for one week thank you.

PM:
This one's foolproof Georgie. I'm going to go on Strictly come Dancing. Where
else do the public vote in their droves for a smug-faced git with little aptitude?

GO:
Ooh! And then you can resign after a huge public outcry! Again.

PM:
Bah! I rather had "I'm a Celebrity..." in Mind for you, Georgie. You could join Kilroy on Desert Island Di**s