FX – PHONE DIALLING/RINGING
CUSTOMER SERVICES 1
Good morning, you're through to the customer services helpline. My name is Julia, how may I be of service to you this morning?
TOM
Hello there, I'd like to cancel my--
FX - THE LINE INSTANTLY BLEEPS AS IT THE CALL IS DIVERTED. IT BEGINS RINGING AGAIN.
TOM
Hello?
FX - AFTER A FEW RINGS THE CALL IS ANSWERED. THE CONNECTION IS BAD - LOTS OF STATIC AND THE SOUND OF SQUABBLING AND ARGUING IN THE BACKGROUND WITH THE OCCASIONAL COW MOOING.
CUSTOMER SERVICES 2
Yes?
TOM
Yes, hello. I'd like to cancel my subscription to--
CUSTOMER SERVICES 2
Name?
TOM
My name is Tom--
CUSTOMER SERVICES 2
Spell please.
TOM
Spell Tom? It's as it sounds really.
CUSTOMER SERVICES 2
Spell please.
TOM
Okay, it's T.
CUSTOMER SERVICES 2
D…..
TOM
No, T... T for tango. I think that's the call sign for T isn't it? Tango?
CUSTOMER SERVICES 2
Tango.
TOM
As in the dance. Oh, and the orange... you know, the fizzy drink?
CUSTOMER SERVICES 2
Ah, coca -cola!
TOM
Like coca cola... but orangey. Is this helping at all?
CUSTOMER SERVICES 2
Spell please?
TOM
Right, so it's T.
CUSTOMER SERVICES 2
T for tango.
TOM
Yes. Wait - how many T's do you have now? It's just one T.
CUSTOMER SERVICES 2
T for tango.
TOM
Yes then an O
CUSTOMER SERVICES 2
N, O...
TOM
No. No N, There's no N. Just T for Tango then O for... I don't know, orange
CUSTOMER SERVICES 2
Fizzy tango!
TOM
Yes! I mean no. Not tango this time. Look, is there someone else I can speak to? What happened to Julia?
CUSTOMER SERVICES 2
T, O....
TOM
Yes, that's right. Then M.
PAUSE
TOM
M.
PAUSE
TOM
Hello?
CUSTOMER SERVICES 2
Hello.
TOM
Yes, it's M.
PAUSE
CUSTOMER SERVICES 2
You are forgetting your name?
TOM
No, it's M! The letter M. M for... making this as difficult as bloody possible.
CUSTOMER SERVICES 2
Tom.
TOM
Yes! Thank you. Now I'd like to cancel my subscription to...
CUSTOMER SERVICES 2
Mr. Tom, what is your first name please?
TOM
Tom is my first name.
CUSTOMER SERVICES 2
Mr. Tom Tom?
TOM
Tom McMenamin. My name is Tom McMenamin and I want to cancel my subscription. Is that so hard to understand?
PAUSE
CUSTOMER SERVICES 2
Spell mehmehmehmeh please.
TOM
Do you know what - forget it.
END