British Comedy Guide

118 118 Need Jokes Page 17

Another 3 for myself brings my total now to 8 jokes sold. Still waiting for tallies from 29 Nov to 14 Dec as well.

Quote: dannyjb1 @ January 2 2009, 6:51 PM GMT

Good job fellas, a few old ones in there but only a few.

I mentioned one of mine to someone over Christmas and they said it was as old as the hills - just shows it's hard to know what's new and what isn't. As long as it isn't knowingly lifted I'm happy to proceed!

Happy new year to all, by the way - I think this might be my 2009 debut.

EDIT Actually, no it isn't. Added for the sake of accuracy.

Got a few on the reserve lists but looking at the ones they rejected for being 'offensive to XYZ' I think my next batch will be - ahem - softer.

See the same names tend be full of successful win so there's definitely a knack to it.

So yeah, my new year's resolution is to Be Funnier.

The reason the same names come up a lot is because those are the people writing jokes everyday, even over the Christmas period where a lot of people took a break.

I do try to work harder for the regular writers, offer more feedback, suggestions for re-writes etc. Because at the end of the day the better the material the easier my job is.

Seeing the jokes is definitely a good thing as you can then get a better idea of what to send in.

I think it's always best to think: "christmas cracker." :)

Or play-on-words jokes.

Cheers for the advice Graham and MikeyJ

I came up with this:

John Travolta's son sadly passed away over New Year. He got a chill and it multiplied.

would something like that make the cut?

Great joke if in poor taste.

But no, no it wouldn't in my opinion.

Jokes need to be quite gentle and specifically not to mean about individuals.

So jokes I sold include.

My local policeman can whistle 500 songs.

He's an iplod.

or

What's the periodic table Holmes?

Elementary my dear Watson.

Also my hit rate is something like 1 out every 25 I send, spread out over writing every day of the week.

Quote: sootyj @ January 4 2009, 8:47 AM GMT

Great

Also my hit rate is something like 1 out every 25 I send, spread out over writing every day of the week.

sootyj how many do you write a day?

20-60 usually.

Quote: sootyj @ January 4 2009, 9:27 AM GMT

20-60 usually.

Bloody Hell.

How do you come up with the ideas? Its just taken me most of saturday to come up with 8!!!

I write whilst I'm watching TV, take time and develop the punchline before the feeder line.

Or he uses crack.

Mind bending drugs might just be the answer.

And adding another 12 hours to everyday. - Who needs sleep anyway?

I watch a lot of Star Trek repeats, they seem to produce the right level of slef hypnosis.

I'd blown them out after sending one batch before Christmas and not hearing much back, but I just got an email saying that an admin error had caused a problem and that I've actually sold a fair few out of that first batch, which was a surprise. So I shall resume services.

They're a piece of piss to do and the way I see it if I can sell ten a month, that's 300 quid which should pay for my fags, booze and dwarf porn.

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