The Lift

(Outside of a lift - a large man and his wife is walking past. There is a porter with a clipboard)

PORTER
Stairs are out of order today I'm afraid. You'll have to take the lift..

(The couple enter the lift. Four giggling office workers walk past)

PORTER
Hello girls, right this way

(They enter the lift. A young man and his girlfriend walk past)

PORTER
Lovely day. I'm afraid the stairs don't appear to be working today. Why don't you try out this lovely elevator instead? It's very lifting

(A sexy receptionist saunters past and enters the lift. The husband and the boyfriend check her out and are promptly nudged in the ribs by their respective wife/girlfriend. Three builders walk past)

PORTER
Up to the roof lads, just in there. I'm sure you will all squeeze in.

(The three builders enter the lift. Everyone is squashed. There is an awkward silence. Two business woman and two business men walk past, the porter guide them into the lift)

PORTER
The more the merrier! That's what I always say. Come on people. Squeeze in tight. (He looks down at his clipboard and makes some notes) Hmm.. very interesting

(Everyone is looking very uncomfortable, staring straight ahead not sure where to look or how to act. The doors slowly close. There is a loud clunk and then a bang)

INT NEXT DAY

(A man is walking towards the lift)

PORTER
Sorry sir. The lift is out of order today, but you are welcome to use the stairs...

(The porter is busy putting up a new sign. It reads: Warning:No more than 16 persons in lift at one time)

I don't quite get this one.

You know how in lifts there is usually a sign that says what the maximum of people allowed in the lift are? Well this is explaining how they find out what the maximum number is. By filling it up until it breaks. Obviously needs to be clearer..

That's a fab idea and you're about an inch away from it.

Maybe if the lift operator completes a form or phones in his report?

In my head I just imagined a close up on the sign that he was putting up reading: Maximum 16 person in this lift at one time. .. but I like the phone call idea too.

I love the stairs being out of order. That's the really really great bit about this sketch, I think.

Now you point that out, that is a genius touch.

Great idea, often have wondered about the lift thing.

Don't know if you need the porter using the clipboard until the end, where he can jot something down, whilst saying "hmm...interesting".

For the next day scene, could have the porter waving people away from the lift, which is being repaired, saying "sorry Sir, I'm afraid the elevator is out order, but if you'd like to use the stairs".

And THEN the close up of the sign the guy behind him's screwing to the lift wall.

Oooh Rob - I like it! Thanks

Lovely idea. Maybe he could count them or something - do a quick head count, "17. Let's try it now." Then the doors close and the clunk?

I like the idea of the stairs being out of order, and I also got the joke at the end. It's fine as it is, I would say.

Nice Idea. Maybe instead of the 'Next Day'. After the loud bang you could just get him to pull out his mobile phone and call his Boss to tell him the news while the other lift passengers are stuck listening to him.