We all the news on phone in shows recently I thought I'd post a sketch I wrote a few weeks ago. Tell me what you think.
INT. STUDIO. NIGHT.
A HOST IS STANDING IN A STUDIO. HOSTING A QUIZ CALL IN SHOW
THERE IS A BOARD WITH "PEOPLE" WRITTEN ON IT AND THREE COVERED UP ANSWERS
HOST:
Hi you're watching Call-In-To-Win. We are looking for people, name somebody and if they're on the list you could win some money!
A PHONE RINGS
HOST:
We have our first caller. Hello who's there?
STEVE:
Steve.
HOST:
Hi Steve what's your answer?
STEVE:
Dick Van Dyke.
THE HOST LOOKS ANGRY
STEVE IS CUT OFF
HOST:
I aploigise for his language folks. We are live and have no control over our calls. Rest assured we will be passing that man's details on to the police and he will be prosecuted to the furthest extent of the law.
THE HOST LIGHTENS UP
HOST:
We have people get though to the studio all the time and whether its your first time or your 100th time you all have the same chance of winning.
THE PHONE RINGS AGAIN
HOST:
Hello, who's calling?
BOB:
Hello it's Bob.
HOST:
Hi Bob. Can I just ask, are you a virgin?
BOB:
What!
HOST:
What's your answer Bob?
BOB:
My Uncle Larry.
HOST:
OK, is Bob's Uncle Larry one on the answers we're looking for?
SOUND EFFECT TO SIGNAL INCORRECT ANSWER
HOST:
I'm sorry Bob, he isn't.
BOB:
He bloody is!
HOST:
Are you calling me a liar?
BOB:
No I'm calling you a tosser.
BOB HANGS UP
HOST:
OK, we've been on this game for too long now so lets reveal the answers.
THE HOST REVEALS THE FIRST ANSWER TO BE 'ARTHUR BROWN'
HOST:
The first one was Arthur Brown, he's one of our cameramen.
THE HOST REVEALS THE SECOND ANSWER TO BE 'TERRY HAWKINS'
THE HOST TAPS HIMSELF ON THE HEAD AS IF TO SAY "OFF COURSE"
HOST:
Terry Hawkins, the ice cream man in Kent.
THE HOST REVEALS THE LAST ANSWER TO BE 'BETTY SPEED'
HOST:
Oohhhh. And of course Betty Speed, she works at my kids school. Well I bet you're kicking yourself now. But don't worry we have another game to play.
THE HOST REVEALS A BOARD WITH A PICTURE OF A CHICKEN AND AN EGG ON
HOST:
Just two possible answers to this one! Which came first the chicken or the egg? Call in now with your answer and scientific evidence to back up your theory and you could win fifty pounds!
