British Comedy Guide

I read the news today oh boy! Page 928

Quote: Nogget @ July 17 2012, 9:55 AM BST

At the 40 Olympics venues, 800 retailers have been banned from serving chips to avoid infringing fast-food rights secured by McDonald's.

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/home-news/britain-flooded-with-brand-police-to-protect-sponsors-7945436.html

Errr

That's because it's the only war the Yanks can win.
Despicable.

Quote: Nogget @ July 17 2012, 9:55 AM BST

At the 40 Olympics venues, 800 retailers have been banned from serving chips to avoid infringing fast-food rights secured by McDonald's.

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/home-news/britain-flooded-with-brand-police-to-protect-sponsors-7945436.html

Errr

Just make sure you don't bring your chip and pin card (unless you have or are a fish)

McDonalds have the fast food rights? apt I suppose.

That I'll keep the army security busy; chasing around spectators eating bags of chips for the local fish shop.

Listening to XFM London breakfast show on the way to work this morning, Danny Wallace read out the first 9 words or so of the lead story in The Daily Star.

It went something like "...mum is proud to show off her big new bottom..."

Can anyone confirm this?

Note to Al Qaeida.
Smuggle bombs inside Happy Meals - security will be too busy confiscating Ginster's Pasties.

Quote: KeithyT @ July 17 2012, 11:28 AM BST

Listening to XFM London breakfast show on the way to work this morning, Danny Wallace read out the first 9 words or so of the lead story in The Daily Star.

It went something like "...mum is proud to show off her big new bottom..."

Can anyone confirm this?

Can't help with The Star's version but The Mirror has it . . .

http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/real-life-stories/mum-with-23in-waist-has-bum-boosting-injections-870632

Don't look if easily bileous !

Oh my goodness, that was front page news in the Star?

Perhaps her bottom could be used in some way to help the G4S Olympic security shortfall. I'm thinking ID cards and swiping here...

Quote: Oldrocker @ July 17 2012, 11:52 AM BST

Can't help with The Star's version but The Mirror has it . . .

http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/real-life-stories/mum-with-23in-waist-has-bum-boosting-injections-870632

Don't look if easily bileous !

She used to just be a waste of oxygen.
Now she's a waste of space as well.

On the upside, she'll never be short of somewhere to park her bike.

Her name rather suits her doesn't it.

The G4S Chief Executive is currently being grilled by a Select Committee but it's hard to watch because a) he looks like ex-DJ Mike Read and b) he's called Nick Buckles.

Every time one of the MPs says 'Mr. Buckles', I keep expecting the camera to cut to a clown / childrens entertainer / pantomime character dressed up in bells and buckles.

Quote: Renegade Carpark @ July 17 2012, 12:17 PM BST

Every time one of the MPs says 'Mr. Buckles', I keep expecting the camera to cut to a clown / childrens entertainer / pantomime character dressed up in bells and buckles.

Well his claims are laughable.

Quote: Nogget @ July 17 2012, 12:25 PM BST

Well his claims are laughable.

I'm just surprised he showed up at the right location at the right time.

These people run our prisons too - yay, go Britain!

http://www.guardian.co.uk/media/2012/jul/17/london-2012-olympics-bbc

The BBC is sending 765 staff to cover the Games. If they'd delayed the ludicrous move to Salford until after the Olympics then it would be costing a lot less as they could just get the bus across London - as long as it wasn't being driven by a volunteer.

The name is too perfectly funny to mock

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