British Comedy Guide

I read the news today oh boy! Page 737

And now opening Renegade Carpark world American adventure.

Our friendly staff will blow you away if you turn up wearing clothes as you are clearly carrying a concealed shooter.

And if you turn up naked, join the other fun seekers in a giant naked pyramid and confess to being a communist, Muslim, alien.

Meet Renegade Carparks own mascot Foxy News. And listen to his heelarious opinions on black people and Osama Bin Laden actually being a martian.

Take your life in your hands when you travel into "Gated Community Land of peril!" wearing a hoody.

But how do you get to this world of fun, adventure and neoconservative doctrine? That's easy just confess to hacking NSA computers or slightly annoying US bankers and you'll be there sooner than Dave Cameron can tear up your humanrights.

Coming soon Renegade Carparks War of Error rollercoaster. the fun never ends. Literally.

Laughing out loud

Quote: Nogget @ March 27 2012, 1:17 PM BST

Your theme park would be nothing more than a zoo.
Zoo + nothing= zoo0

Am assuming I should probably be offended...

Quote: Renegade Carpark @ March 27 2012, 1:01 PM BST

That made me chuckle.

Come to sootyj's Lib Land! It's health and safety and political correctness gone mad developmentally challenged!

Have a mad mentally disadvantaged time on the Hypocritical Reverso Cups -where hatred and intolerance doesn't exist - unless you are a Tory, a policeman, white, Christian, male, English, not a liberal, etc.

Go mental psychiatric unit on the Screaming Hysterically Coaster - ignorant self righteous indignation has never been so much fun. Blindfolds and ear muffs supplied.

Bring the kids young people of non-specific age to our Dogmatic Petting Zoo - don't worry, it's not a real zoo and there aren't any animals, because that's a form of slavery. Spend the day peacefully relaxing by planting nail bombs under the cars of anyone who works with animals whilst muttering to each other how much you hate Daily Mail readers. Then visit the Daily Mail website regularly, thus increasing it's popularity and advertising revenue.

Bring your wife husband boyfriend girlfriend civil partner to the Tunnel of Transgendered Love. Chicks with dicks, fillys with willys, he-shes, lady boys and other assorted freaks will cavort for your romantic pleasure. It's like Bangkok - if Bangkok was in Wolverhampton.

'I don't know whether I approve or not of Lib Land, someone tell me what to say' - Nogget

'We went to Lib Land and didn't have to form an original opinion all day, it was great' - zooo

'The Macrobiotic Lentils were a treat and our entrance fee went to Africans! I recommend Lib Land's level of mediocre but non-commital fun!' - Harridan

'It's an idiot park for idiots and I hate you all!' - rwayne

'Not since Chastity Bono said 'I want your cock' have I been so afraid' - Renegade Carpark

Yeh yeh very funny.

Except I'm massively in favour of animal experiments. I mean we're making them eat their own shit in cages small enough to never see their own bums, before electrocuting them, beheading and then eating them.

For f**ks sake how much worse is pouring bleach in their eyes or putting an electrode in their brain going to buy.

And vegetarians can f**k off. Until you shoot me for going to KFC to eat a bucket of deep fried pain. Then you're a hypocritical bunch of enablers.

Quote: zooo @ March 27 2012, 1:39 PM BST

Am assuming I should probably be offended...

Not meant to be; in case it wasn't obvious, the last 0 in zoo0 was a numerical zero, or a 'nothing'. Hence my hilarious quip about it being 'nothing' more than a zoo; I come from the Richard Whitely school of crushingly unfunny wordplay...

Quote: Renegade Carpark @ March 26 2012, 5:30 PM BST

I'm not pretending that smoking isn't bad for you but neither am I hysterically overreacting.

Sitting outside of a cafe next to a busy road in London is probably far more dangerous then spending time inside a smokey pub.

Because things exist that are as bad, nearly as bad, or even perhaps worse does not mean that something should be ignored. It just means the other things should also be looked at, in an ideal world.

Ahhh, it was indeed punnage worthy of Whiteley! ;)

Quote: zooo @ March 27 2012, 1:50 PM BST

Ahhh, it was indeed pungancy worthy of Whiteley! ;)

He's dead it's why he smells

at times you're quite horrid

Rolling eyes

Pon my word!

Hey MarcP how goes the new book on farting?

Quote: Marc P @ March 27 2012, 2:26 PM BST

Pong my words!

Talk about the ripe stuff!

Blow it out your ass SOotyJ!

http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/weird-news/beyonce-the-puppy-set-to-break-record-773337

Squeak!

D'awwwwwwwwww.

Would be nice if human babies were that small at birth.

Heh, smoke enough and try to get them premature

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