British Comedy Guide

I read the news today oh boy! Page 552

Quote: Oldrocker @ October 11 2011, 9:57 PM BST

OK, innocent until proven guilty but in the meanwhile . . . . You 'effin b*st*rd !!

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-london-15260977

Why? It doesn't indicate they were for anything other than personal use, so unless he pressured her to take them or sold them to her, either his drug possession is unrelated to hers, or she thieved them.

I was looking at an article via The Times app today.
It's about people moving to Australia accompinied by a quiz of Australian history. The picture above is of a group of people holding out a flag- The flag of New Zealand. I'd like to know if it was deliberate or a mistake. Errr

Is New Zealand planning on joining Australia?

Nope. Although the idea might give our politicians something new to argue over. It'd be a nice change from the same two issues they seem to have been going on about for the last year.

Has this mooted British citizenship test been posted here yet? http://www.guardian.co.uk/uk/blog/quiz/2011/oct/11/uk-citizenship-test-quiz?fb=native
How well do you lot score?

13/24. Guess I won't be emigrating anytime soon.

The U.S. citizenship test is fairly difficult and naturalized citizens who spent all the time, money and effort to pass it are usually the ones who protest the loudest whenever a president starts talking about amnesty for the millions who are in the country illegally.

12 guess you're more English than me you sissy tea drinking nancy.

Quote: Kenneth @ October 12 2011, 1:49 PM BST

Has this mooted British citizenship test been posted here yet? http://www.guardian.co.uk/uk/blog/quiz/2011/oct/11/uk-citizenship-test-quiz?fb=native
How well do you lot score?

18 out of 24, but slightly depresing that the Home Office evidently believes trick or treating to be a British tradition.

Fail here too. What a shame.
This is by far my favourite question:

23. How might you stop young people playing tricks on you at Halloween?

Call the police
Give them some money
Give them sweets or chocolate
Hide from them

All you need to know to leave a fruitful life in the UK

Seeya.

I've got to leave it told me. Scored too low.

So I'm going to live on a nice hot island somewhere.

Bizarre that there are questions there requiring knowledge of history which I doubt many of us have ever been taught. We often get reports that people think Churchill is a TV dog, so how are we to expect these people to know about immigration in the 50's?

Quote: Kenneth @ October 12 2011, 1:49 PM BST

Has this mooted British citizenship test been posted here yet? http://www.guardian.co.uk/uk/blog/quiz/2011/oct/11/uk-citizenship-test-quiz?fb=native
How well do you lot score?

I took the test and now I have to leave the country! THanks a lot! :)

15 for me.

14/24

Ridiculous questions. Presumably cherry-picked by the Guardian purely to f**k over as many people as possible, so they could say "gotchas".

I refuse to believe Ulster Scots is a real thing.

And another thing -- how can they put questions about trick or treating, which was basically imported from the US within the last 20 years, in with questions about women's rights in the 19th century? Makes no sense.

You scored 13 out of a possible 24

Quote: janine @ October 12 2011, 3:08 PM BST

Fail here too. What a shame.
This is by far my favourite question:

23. How might you stop young people playing tricks on you at Halloween?

Call the police
Give them some money
Give them sweets or chocolate
Hide from them

All you need to know to leave a fruitful life in the UK

I hope the last option is also counted as correct, because that's what most people actually do.

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