British Comedy Guide

I read the news today oh boy! Page 403

Woo!

Awesome.

Who needs pepper spray?

Quote: Kenneth @ June 28 2011, 2:40 PM BST

Morrissey can't find anyone to release his new album: http://www.guardian.co.uk/music/2011/jun/28/morrissey-without-record-deal

In more detail: http://pitchfork.com/news/43002-morrissey-talks-label-troubles-glastonbury/

:) Wish I could do it! He is a' wind up' merchant though!

Still writes great songs ,still love him <3

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/science-environment-13906169

Meanwhile, away from La La Land, the rest of us worry about our jobs.

Quote: Oldrocker @ June 29 2011, 1:00 AM BST

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/science-environment-13906169

Meanwhile, away from La La Land, the rest of us worry about our jobs.

"I like to describe myself as the world's leading anti-pi propagandist," said Michael Hartl, an educator and former theoretical physicist.

Laughing out loud

I'm glad he exists, though, even if his qualifications seem a bit vague. Educator? Where? And why is he no longer a theotical physicist?

The striking teachers gave rubbish reasons for their action. "Would you want a 68 year-old playing with your children?" was one; clearly ageist, and who cares if the kids' teachers are 68 or 65 or 70? Another reason given was that poorer pensions would fail to attract decent graduates; I doubt graduates care that much about a couple of years extra, 40 years in their future.

Quote: striking teacher @ July 1 2011, 7:52 AM BST

"Would you want a 68 year-old playing with your children?"

Jaysus. If we all thought like that there'd be no need for grandparents.

Kenneth, are you suffering from any plagues there right now? I love the name of the mouse-bait you've all run out of, "Mouseoff", that's the sort of nomenclature Aussies excel at.

Quote: Nat Wicks @ June 28 2011, 2:48 PM BST

He's such an insufferable twat.

:O

Isn't this Big Feller?

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Giving one of his spiritual motivation talks.

:O It is! So that's what he gets up to when he's not on here. What's your new song about BF? Your girlfriend getting run over by a tram in Manchester while giving her chips to a druggie homeless person? Sounds good.

http://uk.news.yahoo.com/dsk-sex-assault-case-near-collapse-043146637.html

Quite a turnaround.

Yes I saw that. Can't see it proceeding now.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2009518/Carolyn-Bourne-Mother-law-hell-sends-email-bride-Heidi-Withers.html

Hyacinth Bouqet lives!

Good thing she didn't catch her son sneaking into her back pantry.

Quote: Nogget @ July 1 2011, 8:50 AM BST

Kenneth, are you suffering from any plagues there right now? I love the name of the mouse-bait you've all run out of, "Mouseoff", that's the sort of nomenclature Aussies excel at.

I'm being plagued by incompetent bureaucrats and thieving importers. Never heard of 'Mouseoff'. 'Ratsack' is the poison I ask for (to get rats in the shed) and there's no shortage of that, though I much prefer using old-fashioned mousetraps in the house. Bait means the rodent will eat the poison and then thoughtfully die in the ceiling or inside a wall, leaving a fetid farewell odor that lingers for weeks. The plague has been bad, some country roads covered in mice, dead (squashed) and alive (scampering). This means that big eagles (pictured) are landing on the roadside to feast on the mice and many are getting run over by trucks. Not enough birds and foxes to get all the mice. I could set several traps and within minutes mice would be caught. If I left a dead mouse in a trap overnight, in the morning there would just be a skeleton in the trap. They're cannibals when hungry enough. Thankfully I've been in a highrise city apartment for the past 2 weeks and haven't seen any mice.

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Do you ever get the impression God or relevant Aborigine diety just doesn't want you in Australia?

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