British Comedy Guide

I read the news today oh boy! Page 2,742

Britain suspends multi billion dollar trade talks with Canada - over cheese

Leaving us far worse off than when we were in the EU

But, but, but.....but..... we got brexit done??

Awesome

P.s. New incoming border checks will add £200 million a year to the cost of our food and drink.

Enjoy!

Quote: billwill @ 25th January 2024, 12:55 PM

Somewhat distorted news , I think.

What I read was that Off-com had said that one of the ways Royal Mail could save money was by delivering on only 3 days of the week.

Just a hypothesis not a rumour of anything actually planned.

But I guess this is typical of the way that you read reports.

The ongoing debate about a 3 day delivery standard was always about when, not if. Distribution relies on economies of scale, so given the Post Office hasn't diversified (in the way some other countries carries successfully did, e.g. Germany, DHL) daily deliveries will need government subsidies. The government forced all self employed people into a paperless system several years ago, as it provides a better audit trail at a fraction of the cost. Snail mail is for nostalgia, our current government clearly believes they shouldn't pay for this. Labour might ?

lil Donny f**kface ordered to pay the woman he sexually assaulted another $83.3 million because he can't stop defaming her on his shitty social media site!

Maybe now he will finally shut his repellent, fat mouth

🤣🤣🤣

No doubt he will be begging his feeble minded moronic cult followers to dip their hands in their pockets again to bail him out

Elton John donated one of his pianos to St Pancreas train station for anyone from the public to play.
A man called Brendan played it regularly to entertain the passing commuters.
They would stop and watch and even dance along so he eventually videoed it for youtube.
He soon amassed 2.3 million subscribers to his channel and with advertising revenue - he made it his living.

Then along came the Chinese.
They complained that as they passed the piano, they were caught on his camera and demanded he wipe the video and cease playing.
The police were called by them and the dumb cop said he must wipe the video.
He didn't, so the piano was cordoned off with police tape - so that no one could play it.

It turns out, that one of the Chinese party was a Chinese spy for the CCP.
They are now demanding that YouTube delete any video of them as it has now gone viral.

The story continues.....

Maybe he should have played chopsticks

Do spies not realise that everywhere they go in London they're being filmed?

Yeah, London is one of the most CCTV heavy places around (outside of... wait for it... China!), people are on camera practically everywhere!

I suppose it's the viral nature of the video, but very silly still, they'd be more anonymous if they'd walked by and not drawn attention to themselves. Blown up considering one of the women, Adeline Zhang, has been photographed several times with our ministers/politicians and has been part of Chinese media previously, as people have found.

That whole thing was barmy.

Former Grauniad columnist Julie Burchill - "Brighton shows why you shouldn't vote Labour":

www.spectator.co.uk/article/brighton-shows-why-you-shouldnt-vote-labour/

No depths these sleazy, self serving scum bags will stoop to to desperately try to hang onto power....

Wrecking plans for net zero haven't worked, neither has bribing the electorate with tax cuts the country can't afford, neither has wasting millions on an illegal, unworkable Rwanda plan - so let's try a bit of cheating

https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/politics/tories-rigging-general-election-rules-31984142.amp

Finally, the first Rwanda Refugee flight has landed.
In Britain.
Whilst at the same time arguing that Rwanda is a safe country - even though the highest court in the land says it isn't - the Home office has granted asylum to several Rwandans on the grounds that their fears of persecution in their home country - the alleged 'safe' Rwanda - are well-founded and, consequently, have recognised them as refugees under the 1951 Refugee Act.
Oh, the irony.

"Tory MPs are reportedly keeping clean shaven because beards put voters off.

With Labour 23 points ahead of the Tories in the polls and the next General Election set to take place this year, Conservative members of Parliament are said to be telling each other beards have to go to boost their re-election prospects.

A senior Tory told the Sun on Sunday: "Apparently, beards are a turn off. I've lost count of the number of times people have said voters are less likely to back you if you have a beard.

"So it has come off. But it is going straight back on after the election."

Yes, it's the facial hair putting people off

Nothing to do with the lies and sleaze and constant in party bickering whilst the country goes to shit

So much bad news around lately

But thankfully, Laurence Fox got f'd in the A yesterday

Superb

Happy Brexit Day everybody!

Image

"21 million extra customs declarations, double the number of tax declarations, on a system that hasn't even been built yet. It is mad, it is chaos, and it should be stopped."

Tory: "This is just a rejoin argument

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