God damn that was one complicated joke...
I read the news today oh boy! Page 269
Well, I wasn't planning on having to explain it. 
I think Nat got the jist straight away, sootyj's just on another planet. 
Quote: Nil Putters @ November 4 2010, 6:15 PM GMTI think Nat got the jism straight away,
Hey Nil where do you stick your willy at parties?
Quote: Nil Putters @ November 4 2010, 5:56 PM GMTNot specifically.
in·ject
-verb (used with object)
1. to force (a fluid) into a passage, cavity, or tissue: to inject a medicine into the veins.
2. to introduce (something new or different): to inject humour into a situation.
3. to introduce arbitrarily or inappropriately; intrude.I was going for the first part of 1, via 3, with a smattering of 2.
Quote: Gavin @ November 4 2010, 10:08 AM GMTDoes anyone else believe the news that alcohol is more damaging the all other drugs? Or do you think like me it's a convenient news story to justify pumping up tax on booze.
We should tax the balls off drinkers and use that money to pay for the damage binge drinkers do to society.
I end up in floods of tears whenever the news has the 7/7 bombings inquest on. Just awful. I hate hearing the eye witness accounts.
Quote: Gavin @ November 4 2010, 10:08 AM GMTDoes anyone else believe the news that alcohol is more damaging the all other drugs? Or do you think like me it's a convenient news story to justify pumping up tax on booze.
It's probably true that number of people killed by boose is more but the percentages of those who take themn should be taken into consideration.
The facts* are that 5% of people who drink die from drink related illnesses wheras 90% of drug users die from drug related causes.
* Figures taken from the I-Spy book of drink and drugs.
Quote: sootyj @ November 4 2010, 6:54 PM GMTHey Nil where do you stick your willy at parties?
Well, that's was kind of the joke in the first place. 
Nevermind. Am oot.
Quote: Chappers @ November 4 2010, 8:38 PM GMTdrink related illnesses wheras 90% of drug users die from drug related causes.
* Figures taken from the I-Spy book of drink and drugs.
Quote: Chappers @ November 4 2010, 8:38 PM GMTThe facts* are that 5% of people who drink die from drink related illnesses wheras 90% of drug users die from drug related causes.
* Figures taken from the I-Spy book of drink and drugs.
The number of ecstasy-related deaths is just a little over 0%, yet they always make the headlines.
Alcohol not only kills through illness, but also significantly through 'misadventure'. Alcohol is involved in about 40% of traffic deaths.
MP Stephen Timms was brainwashed by extremist websites which embroiled him in a mass terror plot to land bombs throughout Iraq, his family claimed today.
While his family thought he was conducting research, Timms trawled hate sites such as www.tonyblair.org and www.foxnews.com, responsible for brainwashing impressionable young MPs' minds to support the deaths of 1000s of civilians in terror campaigns throughout the Middle East.
"We can't believe Stephen and his friends got mixed up with these extremists, he was always such a nice boy who only wanted to improve peoples' health care and job prospects," Stephen's mother said.
Fanatical religious leaders such as Tony Blair and George W Bush, who mastermind the mass death of innocent civilians, are thought to regularly use churches to spread their message of hate and death, convincing believers that God will reward them.
Their terrorist armies throughout the Middle East even contain religious propagandists known as Chaplains to spread their warped theology of death.
Crazed terrorist leader Blair has so far evaded justice and is thought to spend much of his time hiding out in America, a rogue state which gives sanctuary to training camps and even gives extremist plotters the constitutional right to bare arms of terror.
https://www.comedy.co.uk/news/story/00000397/
Jason Manford in Twitter 'sex message' tabloid story
The 29 year-old 8 Out Of 10 Cats star, who has been married to his wife Catherine for three years and expecting a third child with her next month, sent multiple private messages to 22-year-old Twitter user Debra McNamee. The comedian reportedly asked McNamee to send him topless snaps, and later described in detail how he had performed a sex act while looking at them.
Okay. Who wrote this? Hands up.
What "sex act" are we talking about here?
And how much detail can you really get into in a tweet?
Yeah I spotted that on Chortle earlier. What a plank. What is it with 'family friendly' acts doing stupid things at the moment? Did you hear about Kivin Bishop threatening to kick a heckler's teeth in or something of the like?
He am a tosser. His poor pregnant wife. 