British Comedy Guide

I read the news today oh boy! Page 2,467

Quote: Michael Monkhouse @ 18th September 2022, 7:52 AM

You know what cracks me up? Every time I criticise the royals, some dickhead goes, 'They bring in a lot of money through tourism'... So the Queen's funeral is costing 8 million? 'Yeah, but last month we sold a postcard of a bus.'

Britain's fragile economy was already teetering on the edge of recession even before the death of Queen Elizabeth II last week. That prospect now looms a lot larger, as businesses cancel events amid the period of national mourning culminating in the bank holiday for the late monarch's funeral.
Economists say high street shops closing their doors or operating reduced hours on Monday, alongside the loss of a full working day, will lead to a sharp fall in output at a time when Britain is struggling for growth momentum amid the cost of living crisis.

Will it bollocks. The shops will be rammed today and purchases bigger for the event, and tomorrow many pubs will be having their busiest day of the year so far.

Quote: Alfred J Kipper @ 18th September 2022, 9:51 AM

I can guarantee that this will generate way, way more than £8m for the economy. I reckon Windsor Town's economy alone has already made that much judging by how busy it was the other day I drove past the castle. Every single table outside every café, pub and shop was full and it wasn't even lunch time. And it will be going on for a while yet.

As MickeyMouse would say - we only have your word for that, because he has all the facts, and yours is fake news.

I'm sure the Queen was shitting herself over the economic crisis. How did she survive? What was her secret? I guess we'll never know.
This useless bitch didn't give a f**k whether you live or die. Why should you give a f**k about her?

Quote: Hercules Grytpype Thynne @ 18th September 2022, 8:55 AM

It's that echo again.

It ain't me repeating myself,it's history!
3.02-3.18 https://youtu.be/9l4JpI0nwf8

?

Quote: Lazzard @ 18th September 2022, 10:12 AM

We need a Royal to pop their clogs every year - we'd be minted.

Of course there was a time - around August 1991 as I recall - that they used to arrange that sort of thing themselves.

Quote: lofthouse @ 18th September 2022, 10:42 AM

Britain's fragile economy was already teetering on the edge of recession even before the death of Queen Elizabeth II last week. That prospect now looms a lot larger, as businesses cancel events amid the period of national mourning culminating in the bank holiday for the late monarch's funeral.
Economists say high street shops closing their doors or operating reduced hours on Monday, alongside the loss of a full working day, will lead to a sharp fall in output at a time when Britain is struggling for growth momentum amid the cost of living crisis.

Are you Larry Elliott or Richard Partington?

Quote: Alfred J Kipper @ 18th September 2022, 11:03 AM

Will it bollocks. The shops will be rammed today and purchases bigger for the event, and tomorrow many pubs will be having their busiest day of the year so far.

What about British industry grinding to a halt for a whole day?

Well , what little industry the tories haven't destroyed yet i mean

Quote: lofthouse @ 18th September 2022, 12:20 PM

Well , what little industry the workers haven't destroyed yet i mean

Quote: Billy Bunter @ 18th September 2022, 12:01 PM

Of course there was a time - around August 1991 as I recall - that they used to arrange that sort of thing themselves.

Ah! So it was you in the white Fiat - say no more.

After all she did for you...

Quote: Michael Monkhouse @ 18th September 2022, 12:31 PM

After all she did for you...

Hey, how many land mines have you ever stepped on?

Ungrateful...

Quote: lofthouse @ 18th September 2022, 12:20 PM

What about British industry grinding to a halt for a whole day?

The previous leader of the opposition was going to do that every week, had he been PM. Did you complain about it then? Or complain about it every day there's a strike?

Quote: Alfred J Kipper @ 18th September 2022, 12:44 PM

The previous leader of the opposition was going to do that every week, had he been PM. Did you complain about it then? Or complain about it every day there's a strike?

"And the 2022 Clutching at Straws Award goes to...."

Anyway, the Monarchy is great. Rest in peace, your majesty. God save The King. Long live The King.

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