British Comedy Guide

I read the news today oh boy! Page 2,453

In this country only toddlers fall out of windows.
In Russia it mainly seems to happen to powerful men who've spoken out against the regime.
Clumsy old Russians.

Quote: lofthouse @ 1st September 2022, 6:16 PM

Or if you put the new kettle on your expenses - the British public can pay for it

Even better

Can this douche bag just shut the hell up and piss off already

She either has already or will. She can't piss off already in the future. It's a contradiction.

Quote: Lazzard @ 1st September 2022, 6:45 PM

In this country only toddlers fall out of windows.
In Russia it mainly seems to happen to powerful men who've spoken out against the regime.
Clumsy old Russians.

Or they accidentally fall mouth first on a clumsily discarded bottle of radioactive poison

I really f**king loathe Russia

The whole place is a cesspit of cheats, liars and murderous thugs and criminals

I say nuke them

Do it Liz

Quote: lofthouse @ 1st September 2022, 7:28 PM

Or they accidentally fall mouth first on a clumsily discarded bottle of radioactive poison

I really f**king loathe Russia

The whole place is a cesspit of cheats, liars and murderous thugs and criminals

I say nuke them

Do it Liz

Racist!

Quote: Lazzard @ 1st September 2022, 6:45 PM

In this country only toddlers fall out of windows.
In Russia it mainly seems to happen to powerful men who've spoken out against the regime.
Clumsy old Russians.

Vodka ?

Quote: lofthouse @ 1st September 2022, 7:28 PM

....
I really f**king loathe Russia
The whole place is a cesspit of cheats, liars and murderous thugs and criminals
I say nuke them
Do it Liz

If we gain control of Ukrainian wheat, they'll have less vodka and more uprisings. Simples.

Quote: Stephen Goodlad @ 1st September 2022, 3:22 PM

How did I know you'd be a moon landing denier.
Says everything.

Surely not, Lofthouse?
We know you don't believe all that nonsense. Defend yourself!

I don't need to. It happened.

I meant Lofthouse should defend himself..
Unless he genuinely believes the moon landings were faked, in which case...oh dear.

As exposed in Toast of London!

Denier? 20, 30 or 80?

The moon landings were filmed in a slate quarry in Wales. Or was it Dr Who? I can never remember.

Quote: MrApollo @ 2nd September 2022, 8:06 PM

The moon landings were filmed in a slate quarry in Wales. Or was it Dr Who? I can never remember.

That was Survivors. I remember it well.

In the news this morning, talk of potholes again, and the exorbitant cost of filling them, it's little wonder..................

Image

A long time ago - road tax was used to pay for the upkeep of roads.
Now - it's just a tax and not used for roads at all.

From the you couldn't make it up department - "Tory MPs 'plot to oust next PM by Christmas to bring Boris back":

https://www.msn.com/en-gb/news/world/tory-mps-plot-to-oust-next-pm-by-christmas-to-bring-boris-back/ar-AA11rPNQ?ocid=msedgntp&cvid=efb3224092b44bcebe08c94251269689

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