British Comedy Guide

I read the news today oh boy! Page 2,305

Quote: Lazzard @ 11th July 2021, 11:05 AM

So the government are saying that people are "expected" to wear masks on public transport and enclosed spaces.
In other words " Don't act like a selfish c**t, unless your a selfish c**t - in which case, do what you like"
Perhaps speed limits should become "Speed Expectations"?

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I wouldn't know what 30 kilometres an hour was so I'd always be speeding.

Anyway just saw a photo in the paper of Bercow and his stunning wife. He's standing on the kerb and she's standing in the gutter and she still towers of him. Short arsed Napoleon syndrome twat!

That's heightist!

And wrong too: apparently Napoleon was close to average height for his era, but somebody cocked up in translation later on and didn't know that French inches were longer than English inches in them thar days.

Quote: billwill @ 19th July 2021, 7:59 PM

French inches were longer than English inches in them thar days.

The French have been telling that one to women for years.

This assumed Chinese cyber attack is slightly concerning. They hate losing face, so now it's been dragged it into the public domain, must be serious.

Far more concerning was the lifting of the two term Presidential maximum. See here: https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-asia-china-43361276

Let's hope this Buddhist country continues it's Buddhist philosophy of "Other people's affairs are none of their business and their business is not your affair." and just continues to protect it's boarders. Thank goodness that wind up merchant Trump has been dumped, let sleeping Dragons lie. Diplomacy not provocation.

Quote: Firkin @ 19th July 2021, 8:21 PM

Thank goodness that wind up merchant Trump has been dumped, let sleeping Dragons lie. Diplomacy not provocation.

The dragon is not sleeping - it is stretching its wings and breathing fire at an ever-increasing rate.

https://www.washingtonpost.com/national-security/china-nuclear-missile-silos/2021/06/30/0fa8debc-d9c2-11eb-bb9e-70fda8c37057_story.html

https://www.news.com.au/technology/innovation/military/china-threatens-to-nuke-japan-if-country-intervenes-in-taiwan-conflict/news-story/d9af14dc6b90628082e79ab4c77629e1

https://www.theguardian.com/world/2020/jul/02/china-could-prevent-hongkongers-moving-to-uk-says-dominic-raab

You make a fair point DaButt, but Hong Kong use to be a province of China and Taiwan is debatable, so my initial point of "protecting boarders" stands. I'm not happy with what China is doing either. But America put boots on the ground in Korea, Cambodia and Vietnam who were never part of America, nor are they bordering. This is seen in the region as much more aggressive. Surly you can see their grievances ? Guess which side South East Asia are and will group if we go the way Orwell suggested in his book 1984.

Quote: Firkin @ 19th July 2021, 9:17 PM

You make a fair point DaButt, but Hong Kong use to be a province of China and Taiwan is debatable, so my initial point of "protecting boarders" stands. I'm not happy with what China is doing either. But America put boots on the ground in Korea, Cambodia and Vietnam who were never part of America, nor are they bordering. This is seen in the region as much more aggressive. Surly you can see their grievances ? Guess which side the South East Asia dragons are and will group if we go the way Orwell suggested in his book 1984.

Did the United States permanently seize territory in Korea, Cambodia, or Vietnam? Apples and oranges. China has disputes with Taiwan, the Philippines, Indonesia, Vietnam, Japan, South Korea, North Korea, Singapore, Brunei, Nepal, Bhutan, Laos, Mongolia, Myanmar and Tibet, and they haven't been shy about using military force in the past, either.

China's theft of intellectual property, their concentrations camps, cyber attacks, Internet censorship, aggressive military activities, and seizure of disputed territory make them the number one threat to world peace and stability. Our only hope of avoiding a bloody world war is a bloody civil war in which the citizens of China overthrow their repressive masters. Perhaps a Wuhan lab smoking gun could be the shot that starts that war, but I doubt there are any living witnesses to tell the tale.

EDIT: It's hard to see how China's military base in Djibouti can be seen as "protecting its borders" and many more will follow. My hunch is that they'll be in Afghanistan and Pakistan in the very near future, but they'll have to pony up a lot of cash and weaponry to get the Taliban to look the other way about the whole Uigher thing.

There's going to be vaccine passports

There won't be vaccine passports

There's going to be vaccine passports

There won't be vaccine passports

There's going to be vaccine passports

There won't be vaccine passports

There's going to be vaccine passports

There won't be vaccine passports

There's going to be vaccine passports

There won't be vaccine passports

There's going to be vaccine passports

There won't be vaccine passports

Stay tuned for tomorrow's update

CLOWNS

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Quote: Billy Bunter @ 19th July 2021, 10:45 PM
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Surely 'Tomatoes have Feelings' should have been the main headline.

Quote: chipolata @ 20th July 2021, 5:44 AM

Surely 'Tomatoes have Feelings' should have been the main headline.

Knocked off the front page by a load of lemons.

I'm reading that the Labour party is almost bankrupt with only one month's salary in the coffers chest.
Thousands of members have left the party leaving them with unsustainable costs.
Could be interesting.

Seeing your sources could be interesting.

Take it, it's a good source. But if you can cast doubt go right ahead.

France slams strict rules on arrivals in UK from France - so they send them over in dinghies and we let them in!

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