British Comedy Guide

I read the news today oh boy! Page 2,153

Quote: Rood Eye @ 3rd April 2020, 3:54 PM

You won't find this in the newspapers but, in a branch of Superdrug yesterday, a well-known celebrity spent £40 and, as quietly and anonymously as was possible under the circumstances, gave his "points" to an old lady in the queue behind him.

It was Stephen Mulhern.

Good man, I say!

Very laudable I'm sure (although who spends £40 in Superdrug in one hit?) but "well known celebrity"? I have to say I have no idea who this person is.

Quote: Billy Bunter @ 3rd April 2020, 10:36 PM

I have to say I have no idea who this person is.

It would be uncharitable but by no means inaccurate to describe him as the poor man's Ant and Dec.

Quote: Billy Bunter @ 3rd April 2020, 10:36 PM

Very laudable I'm sure (although who spends £40 in Superdrug in one hit?) but "well known celebrity"? I have to say I have no idea who this person is.

Me neither and it was probably to keep her quiet after he spent £40 in Superdrug.

Quote: Rood Eye @ 3rd April 2020, 10:54 PM

It would be uncharitable but by no means inaccurate to describe him as the poor man's Ant and Dec.

I thought Ant was the poor man's Dec. And vice versa.

I had no idea who he was either and refused to google it

Are you all too daft to spot It's Rood's next door neighbour? ????

£40 worth of Superdrug points? Wow such generosity. How much will that amount to in actual cash for the little old lady? Pennies. There is nothing about this online so what is your source for this? Or is it just make believe? I would be surprised if you can even give your points away.

I remember seeing Stephen Mulhern interviewing a contestant on the X Factor and without wishing to sound unkind she was clearly not the sharpest tool in the box but seemed a sweet girl who was just exited to be there. Stephen was mocking her knowing she wouldn't get what he was talking about and starting singing 'Happiness, Happiness' but was accentuating it to sound like 'A penis, a penis' just for cheap laughs as she didn't get it. Thought he was a twat ever since because that wasn't nice. Just because someone isn't clued up and quick on the uptake doesn't make them a target for mockery. Wanker.

Conversley, he's pretty good on Catchphrase and I saw a documentary about his interest in magic from a young age but I still can't forgive him for the way he treated that dumb weirdo girl on X Factor.

'We'll beat this together' allegedly says the queen. What a load of effing bollocks. Stick her on the 10th floor of a multi-storey without any servants and she might learn a thing or two about real life.

In the Daily Mail today, Amanda Platell writes a grovelling article in praise of the queen, Charles, Camilla, William and Kate while slagging off Harry and Meghan.

She then turns both barrels on Ant McPartlin's girlfriend who, as far as I know, has committed no more crimes against humanity than the average person in Britain.

Amanda says, "Having dumped his wife for his PA, Anne-Marie Corbett, Ant McPartlin says of their relationship: 'It's magic isn't it? If I knew how, I'd bottle it. We're in a great place, really happy.'

What's the mystery Ant? Single mum Ms Corbett has swapped her modest home for a £6million mansion, you've lavished £25,000 on your holidays together and Anne-Marie has traded her Zara wardrobe for ­Alexander McQueen, with one frock costing upwards of £2,000.

Who ever said money can't buy you love? "

Bitchy? Certainly! In fairness, however, Amanda makes a valid point (in general) about women from modest financial backgrounds who jump into bed with multimillionaires, then proceed to marry them or to form the modern-day equivalent of a marriage with them.

What isn't quite so fair is that she makes no mention of Ant's ex-wife, Lisa Armstrong, who, as far as I know, is another perfectly decent woman, originally from a modest financial background, who enjoyed a superstar lifestyle as multimillionaire Ant's girlfriend and then married him around the time he was about to increase his wealth substantially by signing a £30-million TV contract. When their marriage ended, Lisa walked away with about £36 million of Ant's money in her pocket.

Either or both of Ant's loves could be a gold-digging monster but, equally, it's entirely possible that both of them are normal, good-natured women who found him an absolute hoot to go around with and had absolutely no objection to the fact that he was super-famous and totally minted.

Mind you, I suppose the Daily Mail has its job to do: I just wish they'd do it a little more evenhandedly.

Sophie Ellis-Bextor has been entertaining her fans during the coronavirus lockdown by streaming a series of mini-gigs from her own kitchen.

Yesterday, she had an extra-special broadcast planned because it was her birthday.

She lined up a special set of her disco hits and had just begun broadcasting on Facebook when, after only a few seconds, the broadcast was muted by Facebook who cited "copyright infringement" as the reason.

She was performing her own songs, ffs! :O

Are people interested in celebrities at this time?

I'm looking forward to the day when coronavirus isn't the number one news story.

Quote: Rood Eye @ 11th April 2020, 3:20 PM

Sophie Ellis-Bextor has been entertaining her fans during the coronavirus lockdown by streaming a series of mini-gigs from her own kitchen.

Yesterday, she had an extra-special broadcast planned because it was her birthday.

She lined up a special set of her disco hits and had just begun broadcasting on Facebook when, after only a few seconds, the broadcast was muted by Facebook who cited "copyright infringement" as the reason.

She was performing her own songs, ffs! :O

She sang them but it doesn't mean she owns the copyright. Most artists don't own their own songs and the copyright belongs to a faceless conglomerate. Bit of a PR disaster because she obviously didn't realise there would be a problem and it was all automated by the youtube system which is why it only took a few seconds. Her management should have known this would happen.

I like Sophie though and the Video for Murder On The Dance floor was on MTV all the time when I first got juiced up.

Quote: chipolata @ 11th April 2020, 10:49 PM

I'm looking forward to the day when coronavirus isn't the number one news story.

That's what we said about Brexit - and then look what happened. Be careful what you wish for!

Apparently, Jack Whitehall is enjoying lockdown with his girlfriend who is an ex-girlfriend of Leonardo DiCaprio.

She's a stunner and no mistake.

On the other side of the gender divide, I think most people would agree that Leonardo is a bit of a stunner too.

On the face of it, therefore, the girl was well-matched with Leonardo - so what can possibly be attracting her to Jack?

Any comedian worth his salt would immediately come up with a suggestion.

And have it on very good authority that that suggestion is entirely accurate! Laughing out loud

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