Quote: john tregorran @ 10th November 2019, 7:33 PMMade up stories about uninteresting celebrities.
I try to avoid The Mail.
There it is again.
and again...
Quote: Chris Hallam @ 9th November 2019, 8:23 PMThought I was reading The Daily Mail for a moment there...
the owl of the remove has a keen eye.
Quote: Definitely Tarby @ 10th November 2019, 7:03 PMA post by you? Funny?? I suppose your optimism has to be acknowledged.
I can't work out how saying a Ian Wright is the father of Harvey Price when he's not is meant to be funny. Maybe you just got it wrong but can't bring yourself to admit it.
Didn't you realise that DickferBrains is the funniest poster on this forum, that's why he puts a 
at the end of his posts.
He gets a reply to 1 in 30 posts.
I'd have given up by now.
But then again, I don't have a mission.
Yes. Also, for those he thinks are thick and haven't got what his "gems of comedy" are he will sign off with a "Did you see what I did there?"
F**king insult, I call it, but now he's also using that pathetic phrase as a troll.
He's the thick one, and about as funny as a wet weekend in Wigan.
Stephen I would kill for 1-30 ratio, I get loads of posts blanked , as we speak I am sitting on a particularly keen point of interest but I can't bring myself to post it and then watch it being ignored.
(For the record it was to ask who would win in a fight between Worzel Gummidge and Catweazle? As Catweazle has magic but Wurzel is wearing his Scouse head?)
Stella McCartney, a fashion designer whose success is in no way due to her father having achieved a thing or two in the music business, is under fire today for using the remembrance parade to plug one of her coats on her Instagram account.
She's posted a pic of Meghan, nowadays one of the most famous women in the world, wearing the coat.
The accompanying message is, "So proud to have HRH Duchess of Sussex in our autumn '19 coat at the Remembrance Day service."
It's not an especially heinous crime as crimes go but many people are apparently thinking it's a little disrespectful and inappropriate.
Personally, I think it would have been more fitting if she'd posted a pic of Meghan wearing one of her suits.
Suits? Do you get it?
Do you see what I did there?
Tough one Teddy.
Worzel would be hard with his Scouse head on - but his body is straw.
And Catweasle is flesh n blood but soft as shite.
after reflection, Worzel every time.
I wouldn't want a Kirby kiss.
Quote: john tregorran @ 10th November 2019, 9:46 PMthe owl of the remove has a keen eye.
As gimlet-eyed as Henry Samuel Quelch himself:
Quote: john tregorran @ 10th November 2019, 9:48 PMNot even in the Mail ?
In a recent survey by the think tank The Policy Exchange, 44% of students expressed the view that Germaine Greer should not have been allowed to speak at Cardiff University following her suggestion that a man who has his penis removed does not automatically become a woman.
I don't know how many of those students have penises but it seems possible that many of them have had some significant portion of their brains removed.
Regardless of how they feel about Germaine's stance on that or any other issue, I would have thought modern-day students in Britain were bright enough to realise that to deny anybody the right to speak lawfully in public is to set foot on an exceedingly slippery slope.
And what about soldiers who had their penises blown off on the battlefield?
Penises? Blown off?
Do you see what I did there?
But seriously though folks, I know it's a brilliant play on words but it's also a good question.
There are circumstances in which many people might agree that the removal of a man's penis is part of his transition into womanhood. On the other hand, there are circumstances in which absolutely nobody would suggest that the loss of a penis renders a man female.
Accordingly, when Germaine suggests that the removal of a man's penis does not automatically make him a woman, I think anybody with more than half a brain might agree with her.
There are many reasons why somebody might want to leave England in search of a more pleasant place to live.
One of the least obvious reasons is that travelling on buses is quite expensive in England unless one is lucky enough to have a free pass by virtue of one's age.
It's the same in Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland: people of a certain age travel free on buses while younger people have to pay.
In England, a great many people are having to wait until they are around 70 before getting a pass.
What came as news to me, however, is that in Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland, bus passes are routinely handed out to people as soon as they reach their 60th birthday.
Why should that be?
Why is there such a difference between England and the three other members of the United Kingdom when it comes to the attitudes of the powers that be towards older folk who may not have a lot of money?
Could it be anything to do with the number of Tory MPs?
Quote: Rood Eye @ 12th November 2019, 12:46 PMThere are many reasons why somebody might want to leave England in search of a more pleasant place to live.
One of the least obvious reasons is that travelling on buses is quite expensive in England unless one is lucky enough to have a free pass by virtue of one's age.
It's the same in Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland: people of a certain age travel free on buses while younger people have to pay.
In England, a great many people are having to wait until they are around 70 before getting a pass.
What came as news to me, however, is that in Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland, bus passes are routinely handed out to people as soon as they reach their 60th birthday.
Why should that be?
Why is there such a difference between England and the three other members of the United Kingdom when it comes to the attitudes of the powers that be towards older folk who may not have a lot of money?
Could it be anything to do with the number of Tory MPs?
Of course it has. I never understand why England keeps voting them in. But Don't start me on that.
Russell Howard appears to have gone all "Frankie Boyle" on us.
A woman whose 12-year-old daughter is a wheelchair-user has installed a ramp to allow her daughter access between the pavement at the bottom of the front garden and the front door of the house which is somewhat elevated from the road on which it stands.
(There is a photo of the house below.)
The ramp comprises about 10 sections, arranged in a zigzag pattern, each one the width of the garden and each one going slightly uphill from the one before it.
Clearly, therefore, the journey from the front door to the pavement (or vice versa) is considerably longer than it would be under normal circumstances.
In his stand-up, Russell joked: 'Can you imagine what that'd be like if you forgot your wallet?
He went on: 'The only good thing about that - you're not getting bothered by Jehovah's Witnesses.'
It's funny: as a joke in itself, I like each of them - especially the JW one.
The snag is that, when writing or telling a potentially offensive joke, one has to decide whether or not the funniness of the joke outweighs its offensiveness.
The audience thought the joke was very funny indeed.
The 12-year-old girl and her mother, as might be expected - not so much.
Although absolutely typical of Frankie's traditional humour, this represents something of a departure for nice guy Russell Howard.
I have a feeling he didn't think it through.
I have the Gee-o-vars round every Tuesday afternoon and look forward to it. Both mother and daughter today were really trendy and they were spot on about how we should take care of genuine animals. . These "comedians" do "the yellow lines have moved to the next street" jokes, hah. They wouldn't touch that arrangement if I had blackened up and was doing a Grayson. I am going to write to them "Dear pathetic bullies of the disabled, yours sincerely, Sambo the Great Big Pouffe".
What Russell Howard said is nothing like the humour of Frankie Boyle. The 'facts' are Russell was highlighting how ridiculous it was for the council to decide installing that was the best option. The family could have been rehoused to somewhere more accessible instead of spending £40k on that and the house had a nice garden before it was replaced with that. Everyone agrees that the girl and her mother shouldn't have to struggle whenever they leave the house but it was probably a lot less hassle the old way.
Russell wasn't making fun of the disabled girl or disabled people in general and wasn't suggesting it was their idea to have something like that installed.