I read the news today oh boy! Page 2,116

Quote: billwill @ 2nd November 2019, 10:30 PM

"Do you see what I did there? "

It's sad that you feel you have to put those "Do you see what I did there?" Sentences in your posts, Don't you feel confident about your jokes?

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Don't be sad, Bill.

I'm not seeking an answer to the question.

I'm hoping the question will catch on among professional stand-up comedians all over the world and among other people all over the world who have an interest in stand-up comedy.

I'm hoping that one day it might actually become a meme that everybody in the world who calls himself (or indeed herself) a comedy fan will recognise.

If you ever hear it asked by anybody else, either on stage or in a film or a TV programme or in any other situation, please let me know.

Quote: billwill @ 2nd November 2019, 10:30 PM

"Do you see what I did there? "

It's sad that you feel you have to put those "Do you see what I did there?" Sentences in your posts, Don't you feel confident about your jokes?

View original

Insulting I would call it, suggesting that we are all stupid.

And thinking that everything he says is pure gold by finishing it off with a LOL.

Like I say, "Sad Git". Clearly has something lacking in his life - I quote :-

"If you need others to agree with you; you are approval seeking. You are saying that you cannot feel good about yourself or, your views, without the approval of others. "

Strictly Come Dancing judge, Shirley Ballas, has returned to the live shows after undergoing surgery to remove her DD implants.

She is now back to her natural A-cup size.

She says she now feels healthier and happier so I say "Good for you, Shirley!"

From a comedic perspective, I feel obliged to add that it's not every day you see someone making a molehill out of a mountain.

It's the way I tell 'em!

Pathetic

There are reports in the news today that David Jason is planning his last ever appearance as Del Boy Trotter at some sort of event in which various sets from Only Fools and Horses will be recreated and fans will be able to pay to have themselves photographed with David/Del.

Surely, it can't be as simple and as outrageously mercenary as that, can it?

I have a feeling there must be much more to it and I'm hoping more details will emerge.

Surely, he'll be giving fans an hour or two of Del Boy at his brilliant best?

As things stand, these skimpy first reports are in danger of making David look like a bit of a plonker.

Do you see what I did there?

No I didn't.
Apart from annoying most posters... which you think your wind up is doing.

Kevin Hart, the brilliant American comedian, was seriously injured two months ago when his car left the highway and went flying through a fence on Mulholland Drive, Los Angeles.

Latest reports suggest that he is on the mend but doesn't expect to return to stand-up in the immediate future.

On behalf of comedy fans the world over, I say "Get well soon, Kevin!"

There seems to be some confusion about the accident as nobody is sure whether Kevin was driving the car at the crucial time or whether he was a passenger.

There were no witnesses and so you know what that means, don't you?

Nobody saw what he did there!

Priti Patel has announced plans to give police powers to arrest travellers and seize caravans if they set up camp illegally on private or public land.

In stark contrast, according to reports the Labour Party want to repeal anti-squatting laws and to give squatters and travellers the right to move into or onto anybody's property and to live there free of charge while waving two fingers at the rightful owners and the police.

I detect a slightly right wing bias in the combination of the above two news items but, be that as it may, I'll take Priti Patel over Diane Abbott any day of the week.

In fact, I'd take Priti Patel over quite a few things any day of the week.

For clarification, I'm talking about things like political parties, people and philosophies that are less in accord with my own views on trespass.

Do you see what I did there?

Nigel Farage has decided not stand as an MP for this election.

In other news, cats do not go woof.

I've got quite a lot of gypsy stories - in theory I feel very warm towards them almost so as to be contentious but I also recognise that to some that they can be right royal pains in the arse. If we are allowed to say it in this pc age, and I somehow doubt it, the kinds of issues and especially contrasts they tend to lead to have a lot of very natural humour in them and are often about the people trying to "sort them out", not the gypsies themselves. I am a bit tired at the moment so I will leave it to later but I can do a very good 60 seconds on gypsies without hesitation, repetition or deviation.

In the meantime, as people know I am not for EU Freedom of Movement. But my feeling is that in terms of whether new Eastern Europeans should be allowed here, it is absolutely yes if they can play to the standard of Taraf de Haidouks and are prepared to do so 9-5 outside Aldi and Lidl. If anyone wants to criticise me,. I went out of my way to attend a gypsy enlightenment course by gypsy broadcaster Jake Bowers which is more than you have done so just you try it moosh :

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xnNCidccbG8

Albania has a lot to answer for. But its countryside is spectacular and its music even more so. In fact, it is in another dimension, I was briefly in e-mail correspondence with the legendary music producer Joe Boyd and if you read this Wiki page you will realise just how legendary - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Joe_Boyd - about one of my orgasmic musical discoveries, the late Laver Bariu. JB didn't know me from Adam but was kind and tolerant and I think I left my mark.

l'm not sure that Bariu was a gypsy. He was trad - the Soviets didn't know what to make of his traditional fare but decided, on balance, to embrace it as witnessed in the first peculiar clip. It led to bigger things. In my case, a taxi drive over to my dentists in which the Albanian driver and I spent more than a very odd half an hour in the car park mutually marvelling over clips of the clarinet maestro/genius. In Boyd's case the decision to release a record of Albanian folk music in 2017:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-K5HvCVKDAk

(1983 ish)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XnLnTFSwXSY

(2017)

(As I helped to get it up and running just by highlighting it on the right forums and going on and on and on and on about it - 2010-2016 - I'm very proud of this : obviously I had a large part to play in it : I didn't get paid and I didn't want to be)

It also got onto Later.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LZoqiPcF0A8

It gets me deep in the blood and up in the stratosphere......it's so unique ........it needed to get to western audiences:

Ant McPartlin has offered to open a new round of talks with his wife Lisa about their divorce settlement which is currently stuck at around the £62 million mark.

Lisa comes from a relatively ordinary background and so you'd imagine that she'd leap at the chance of grabbing £62 million, wouldn't you?

You'd be right, of course - except that she can't have the money unless she signs a non-disclosure agreement.

And that is the problem because I can tell you one thing, fellow BCG members - Lisa is determined (regardless of cost) to tell the world about Ant and his antics.

"Ant and his antics": do you see what I did there?

Honestly, do any of us effing care?

Quote: Briosaid @ 3rd November 2019, 8:29 PM

Honestly, do any of us effing care?

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Very few I imagine - but wait till you hear this:

There are rumours that Joe Swash and Stacey Solomon might have got married in secret!

Now, go and find your socks which I know will have been blown off by that announcement.

Quote: Rood Eye @ 3rd November 2019, 9:00 PM

Very few I imagine - but wait till you hear this:

There are rumours that Joe Swash and Stacey Solomon might have got married in secret!

Now, go and find your socks which I know will have been blown off by that announcement.

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I do not possess socks (yuk) and (b) who the Hell are these folk?