I read the news today oh boy! Page 2,035

Quote: Briosaid @ 5th May 2019, 8:31 PM

Why are Tories and Labour punting it that their losses are due to the public being upset that they haven't Brexited? Has it escaped their notice that so many votes have gone to the parties which support another referendum?

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Its called denial. They simply invalidate what we say and then repeat their lies over and over, in the hope we'll believe them . They have no where else to go with this. Its why Trump repeats fake news over and over, and why his loyal core of blind faith fans think "he is the truth" Hallelujah ! Its a know technique, advertisers use a form of this. You can fool some of the people some of the time.

It does show how self serving and out touch they are. Lets give them more power. Their approach won't heal things or bring us together. The truth is, Ukip had the biggest fall percentage wise and the two biggest winners were the only two national parties offering a second referendum. May claiming this as an endorsement of her actions is the lie of the century. We should stop rewarding these MPs for lying. If I miss sell just £1 worth of goods, I must give a cooling off period and full refund, but Boris can laugh of a promise of £350 million to the NHS whilst benefiting from the votes from 1.2 million NHS workers. Even Farmers are up in arms now they've realised leave campaigners lied to them, after lending their billboards.

There was speculation today that popular 'mentalist Caroline Lucas was planning to bump off her great-great-grandparents. A source not a million miles away from her said:

"Yes, it's true, She is fed up with being ordered around by them. Not only do they insist that she dresses conservatively and demand that she is back from any party events by her 6pm bedtime but they have even begun to remove the joss sticks and Morris Men from her bedroom. Is it small wonder that she frequently ends up in cannabis fields opposing fracking? She wouldn't even have any money of her own if she wasn't able to make a few bob there by selling a few of her old LPs by Crass and the Angelic Upstarts."

However, friends immediately denied the allegations.

One said: "So, the fascist establishment have had it in for her ever since she delivered a speech on climate change to the Hansard Society when aged only two. The Cazzy I know is no serial killer. She has worked tirelessly to promote national independence for Brighton and Hove and in opposing the British Empire's ongoing Boer War involvement. She is a beacon of hope for people of all ages across the world who for medical reasons are unable to keep their houses spick and span or get to Brussels on a regular basis by rowing boat".

Whoever is right, Ms Lucas, now allegedly 84, is still expected to keep her seat at the next seven General Elections.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z4ZxxHbJGbY

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_sZR4MPQIk4

In other news today, it is alleged that millions of people gathered on the roofs of trains in London to search for the chin of Jeremy Corbyn. Organised by the Eton based campaign group Moral Riot, one said it was prompted by the fact that he had never been seen without a beard and it was a cast iron certainty that there had never been anything immediately underneath it.

The protest is just the latest in a series of bad news for the so-called Opposition Leader. Last week, it was revealed that he had been burning his personal copies of the Tony Benn Diaries on an environmentally calamitous garden bonfire. More recently, the highly regarded Daily Express has exposed that he has had extensive discussions with the banned terrorist organisation, ERG.

Even his closest friends have been suggesting that his impish toothy grin is not these days so loyal to his face and it may be about to set up its own political party, As for his nose, ears and eyebrows, they could all now be looking to become independents.

That is, if he caves in to anti-establishment millionaire demands that he has a close wet shave and then dons a donkey jacket to keep at least most things below his neck cohesive and transparent. A spokesman said : "Jeremy is considering the options very carefully but would wish to have more clarification on whether he should buy any balls."

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Em2Bvb-Hz6Q

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iqVysIS3vpk

Quote: Briosaid @ 5th May 2019, 8:31 PM

Why are Tories and Labour punting it that their losses are due to the public being upset that they haven't Brexited? Has it escaped their notice that so many votes have gone to the parties which support another referendum?

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No! It's purely down to them not delivering a democratically arrived at vote that they promised to do.

Quote: A Horseradish @ 4th May 2019, 4:25 PM

The Lwibwal Dwem'cwats did well.

I believe that is how they all pronounce themselves.

In the neighbouring area they won significant votes by fighting against more housing for current residents in nice areas.

Combined with their support for Freedom of Movement, one can only assume that their housing policy for an additional half a million people every year is to have every one of them sleeping in cardboard boxes in Centwal London.

At one point, I feared that the permanently affixed hands on the hips of Jo "Pseudo-Agwessive Baby Power" Swinson would be the uncontested co-replacements for Sir Vincent Twickers-Dancalot-Bumblebee OBE.

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I think it's mainly because that senile old git has promised to stand down. And I mean Cable!

He was so anti-Brexit it was unbelievable. I'm tempted to vote for them now - once we're out of Europe!

Plus Con and Lab combined got 5585 councillors and they are both supposed to be for Brexit (ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha) and Inds who are mostly for Brexit got 1178 councillors plus there was 31 for UKIP who are now advised by Tommy Robinson which is a total of 1209 so if you add 5585 and 1209 you get 6794 councillors in total.

This is in contrast with 1351 Lib Dem councillors led by the abovementioned senile old git and 265 Greens which is a total of 1616. So now people like Sir Ed Davey are not only claiming that 48% equals a majority but that a very much smaller percentage is too - whatever percentage 1616 is of a total of 1616 and 6794 which is 8410.

At this rate, it will only be another 18 months before pro EU people are claiming that a 4% vote means that they have won.

A royal baby is born.
They say they will name him with with a cross between an English and American name.
So William and Hank will be merged....

Quote: Stephen Goodlad @ 6th May 2019, 8:54 PM

A royal baby is born.
They say they will name him with with a cross between an English and American name.
So William and Hank will be merged....

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This sort of puts me in mind of ChangeUK where there have been denials not only that the name is totally meaningless in political terms but, given the "Ch" and the "UK" is indicative of the ego of Chukka Umunna.

Personally, I have been surprised at the lack of attention given to the "ange" part which is clearly shorthand for "angery f**ker" in relation to his inability to become Labour leader and would make more sense in terms of what he really seeks to change.

For clarity, the party must change its name immediately to "Chukka Umunna and Also Rans". At the very least, it would put Anna Soubry's nose out of joint.

But there is also something royally topical here. A combination of Frida and Chuck would nicely combine an old fashioned English name probably of European origins with a cool American one while simultaneously respecting the current promotion of gender fluidity.

Alternatively the British name Chukka itself could be used and combined with, say, Flo-Jo to convey a sporty, international development vibe. It would also be a wonderful testament to this country's thriving nail salon industry.

Quote: Stephen Goodlad @ 6th May 2019, 8:54 PM

A royal baby is born.
They say they will name him with with a cross between an English and American name.
So William and Hank will be merged....

View original

I should get that off to Newsjack.

It transpires that in 1978 when I was 15 the economy of China was 5% that of the US economy. Now just over 40 years later it is bigger than the US economy. This period coincides with the major shift in economics towards a global economy in the mid/late 1970s which I opposed from the outset and of course the UK's membership of the EEC/EC/EU from 1973/4 which I initially supported when it was just nine countries followed by several decades of massive EU expansion to 28 countries. which I vehemently opposed.

So among the questions that have to be asked is how can this not massive but monumental change in the economies of China and the US have been good for us, what good was EU membership when it helped to promote it rather than stopping it and where exactly should we go now? Given that the US is rallying against China and the EU economy is so intertwined with the US economy that it went crashing n 2007 when the US economy did I should have thought that perhaps we might be far better off way from that axis, ie independently getting into bed more with people from the Far East.

The family of Fusilier Lee Rigby were in the news because the owner of the house they live in and run as a charitable centre has told them due to his own financial issues they can no longer live rent free and have to buy the house or start paying rent. This sounds reasonable of him and he's let them live there rent free since 2013 when they left their home in Manchester to move in to the house and convert it to a support centre but Lee's mum has gone to the media with a sob story that they are being 'booted out' and will soon have nowhere to live meaning her, two daughters and husband will have to move in to a caravan. It was on a tabloid rag of website but it had photos of her looking glum outside the property so there must be some truth in it. Not sure why she thinks she's entitled to live rent free.

I admit to having problems with Liverpool. I identify as one of the original proper working class Londoners for family reasons and at the very least a lower middle class super intelligent and endlessly fascinating suburbanite for reasons of birth. Certainly I don't identify with the southern middle class.

But I am no anti Northerner. While my early romance was with West Wales and in the longer term it was for the South West of England, I also made a point of venturing beyond the Arsenal and the Watford Gap at an early age. My North is the North East for a variety of reasons which is defined as Northumberland extending down to Yorkshire. This means among other things, that I can genuinely sense that St James' Park is a cathedral.

The North West? Not so good. Family deaths occurred whenever I was in the Lake District. Kiss Me Quick Blackpool never appealed because I don't kiss. The Mancs always seemed mouthy and the Merseysiders more so. With the latter there is inevitably the shrill and the schmaltz, seemingly from one century to another. Their only saving grace to my mind has been the music which for the most part has been wonderful. But the sheer aggressive drippiness of them all has been enough to stop me ever going there in contrast with Manchester which on two underwhelming occasions I did risk,

Plus the two worst women I have encountered in my life were Liverpudlians. This is clearly no coincidence and is so logical that, with hindsight, it needs absolutely no explanation. Other than be under no illusions that a boob tube by definition means that there is no penis thrusting ahead. And then I guess there was also that moment when all prospects for promotion went out of the window when I said to my line manager and his manager that if one took the personality of the first and merged it into the appearance of the second what one would find is the very epitome of a Harry Enfield Scouse git.

So it takes a bit of something to congratulate through what remains of my gritted teeth one of their football teams for its performance against Barcelona. Yes, the over-legalistic, irrational, money-grabbing fake sentimental twerps voted to remain in the EU. But what they have done tonight is drive a tank through Jean Claude Juncker's award today as 2019's greatest European. Not so much a Ferry Across The Mersey as You Let Them Take Gibralter and Nuclear Will No Longer Simply Be A Deterrent.

So, yep, full dues to them. They will, of course, lose to Ajax in the final but every dog must have its day and today it was LIverpool's (though please God don't think that I include in that The Wirral). The team is now an inspiration to hysterical men with unfeasibly high pitched voices all around the world. They''ll (sniff) Never (tears) Walk (do you want a fight?) (I'll murder you or set the IRA on you if you don't hand over your credit cards) Alone.

Bubblegum Woyals:

Further to earlier speculation, we now have a labelling. Archie is, of course, one of those non names like Jack and Harry which were traditionally shortened nicknames of proper names. In this case, it is Archibald which may or may not have been full of problems depending on any possible male pattern baldness in grand-parentage. Harrison is a surname and a rather good one in most circumstances. Whether that includes the Harrisons who in this juxtaposition are weirdly in Kate's family is much more debatable. It too is not a proper Christian name. Otherwise, they have done fantastically well.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h9nE2spOw_o

Lovely stuff Horse. (Last 2 posts on here)
I'm definitely considering promoting you to friend from acquaintance.

I had a dog called Archie (who's full name was Archibald Wuff Goodlad)
It put me in mind of him.
We were never more than a few yards away from each other.

Quote: Stephen Goodlad @ 8th May 2019, 7:39 PM

Lovely stuff Horse. (Last 2 posts on here)
I'm definitely considering promoting you to friend from acquaintance.

I had a dog called Archie (who's full name was Archibald Wuff Goodlad)
It put me in mind of him.
We were never more than a few yards away from each other.

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Why and why-aye, sir, and to have so many thanks.

All a sudden, I feel ever so 'umbleized.

I love this:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YffNFVNUkRs