Quote: Loopey @ 14th April 2015, 7:05 PM BSTThose with mental health conditions should wear wristbands, says Tory candidate for Cambridge.
So that is blue ones for the depressed. Red ones for the violent. And yellow Livestrong ones for lying, cheating, dope taking cyclists.
Quote: Hercules Grytpype Thynne @ 23rd April 2015, 9:11 AM BSTLight hearted comments on the current news - cannot see a problem with that and qualifies to be on this thread.
I think the problem is that Andy won't engage with other people. I don't think you should piss off, Andy, just stop giving us jokes. Apart from anything else, it must be slightly tiring for you.
Quote: Paul Wimsett @ 23rd April 2015, 11:25 AM BSTI think the problem is that Andy won't engage with other people. I don't think you should piss off, Andy, just stop giving us jokes. Apart from anything else, it must be slightly tiring for you.
He's the Rocky Balboa of the BCG.
How does your act end, by the way And?
Quote: Gordon Bennett @ 23rd April 2015, 11:28 AM BSTHe's the Rocky Balboa of the BCG.
Don't push me!
Quote: Paul Wimsett @ 23rd April 2015, 11:58 AM BSTHow does your act end, by the way And?
When the world ends and there is no news.
Quote: Paul Wimsett @ 23rd April 2015, 11:25 AM BSTI think the problem is that Andy won't engage with other people. I don't think you should piss off, Andy, just stop giving us jokes. Apart from anything else, it must be slightly tiring for you.
Well this is a Comedy website.
If you don't like them just pass on to something else.
Quote: Chappers @ 23rd April 2015, 5:21 PM BSTWell this is a Comedy website.
If you don't like them just pass on to something else.
Exacterly..........
Thanks Gordon, Chappers & Herc. And a warm welcome to my resident hecklers also. I'm glad I never introduced myself when I first joined, if this is the response I get by poking a little bit of fun on a Comedy News thread on a comedy forum. Perhaps I am in the wrong place. Maybe I should tell my gags on a real News forum. Paul, I give you a 3.14159265359 out of 5 stars for effort. Feel free to self congratulate yourself on the back and tweet about it. Tweet about how you trolled a Comedy Forum looking for feedback and all you got was a barrage of News jokes hurled at you. Paul, if you want to engage with me and know how I vote PM me. I have made 43 posts, each one including a joke, a gag or something useful on a comedy forum, you have rudely commented on a dozen of them. You just had your 1000 post milestone. Oldrocker you have made 13.5k posts. You are probably better off shouting at the news on the telly in your rocking chair than talking about it on a Comedy News Forum.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-glasgow-west-32300989
A man was arrested after a siege in a short stay hostel in Ayrshire. Looks like he'll be having another short stay at Her Majesty's pleasure.
Ooer..........
It's a comedy news thread, not a comedy news forum. I just want to talk to you about the news in general, Andy. You have Farage's gift of audience control-don't try it in your act.
Andy nothing wrong with jokes, but first of all there's a dedicated joke thread where you're far more likely to get positive feedback.
Also your jokes have some clever word play, but that's a little limited.
Maybe soften the path from feeder line to punch line, make it more natural sounding.
A man was arrested for a siege at a short stay hostel in Ayershire and is now looking forward to a long stay at her majestys pleasure.
I don't know why Miliband doesn't just come out and accuse Cameron of being in charge of one of the trafficker's boats in the Med. and be done with it.
What a utter lump of shit he is proving to be with his pathetic accusations.
There is scoring points and there is scoring points but this is the dregs.
Thanks sootyj. I did in fact use long stay in my original edit of the joke, but it didn't sound right and yours, like you say, sounds so much better the way you used long stay. Thanks. I admit I rushed it a bit after vociferously making my point yesterday. I am on the Jokes thread as well sootyj, but they are just one liners not news related.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/newsround/32314468
A coffee machine has been sent to the International Space Station. It arrived on time after a jittery flight, and the astronauts say the coffee tastes out of this world.
Quote: Hercules Grytpype Thynne @ 24th April 2015, 9:31 AM BSTI don't know why Miliband doesn't just come out and accuse Cameron of being in charge of one of the trafficker's boats in the Med. and be done with it.
What a utter lump of shit he is proving to be with his pathetic accusations.
There is scoring points and there is scoring points but this is the dregs.
And who went into Libya and Iraq? Bliar! He's the (Peacekeeper) who should have worked out what to do next.
Removing ourselves from Iraq seems to make some sense though, Chaps? How would you like to be governed by a country thousands of miles away?