Quote: Jennie @ 15th April 2014, 10:51 PM BSThttp://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2314365/Why-wifes-duty-make-men-fancy-her.html#ixzz2Rg4HcjH4
Gosh.
'But I'm not interested in what other women think. Men are the barometer by which my attractiveness to my husband can be measured, ensuring I never take his interest in me for granted.'
That is some hard ass truth there my sisters. Like it or not, that's the law of the jungle.
I hope he is making similar efforts for her.
I actually agree with more of that article than you might think. I think people should take care of themselves physically. Too often, women put their own needs to the bottom of the pile. How well we take care of our appearances is often a reflection of our levels of self-esteem.
The better we feel about ourselves, the higher our standards are. We are less likely we are to accept rubbish in relationships when we know our own worth.
If she had phrased this article as "I know I look hot, I know other men are interested in me, so he should never take me for granted" I would probably agree with her.
Quote: Jennie @ 15th April 2014, 11:27 PM BSTToo often, women put their own needs to the bottom of the pile. How well we take care of our appearances is often a reflection of our levels of self-esteem.
Self esteem or laziness and complacency? With a lot of my married friends, the only time the husbands see their wives looking glamorous and sexually attractive is when she's going on a hen night.
'Oh yeah, get all hot looking and sexy to spend time with your gal pals, but when I want you to dress up as Britney Spears, I'm some sort of demanding pervert.'
Britney? How very 2001!
There is clearly a happy medium. I have a friend whose husband has never seen her without make up and who will happily totter around in heels and a skirt on a lazy Sunday at home. Her husband "doesn't like women in jeans" so she never wears them.
I find that creepy.
But I think it is sad if someone never makes the effort - and I definitely think the underlying issue is with self-esteem. The fear is of making the effort and being rejected.
I don't know what it is like for men, but when a woman feels she looks good, she feels powerful. The world is her playground. It would be sad if any woman denied herself that opportunity.
Once you've caught the fish, why keep baiting the hook.
Quote: Jennie @ 15th April 2014, 11:39 PM BSTBut I think it is sad if someone never makes the effort - and I definitely think the underlying issue is with self-esteem. The fear is of making the effort and being rejected.
Unexpectedly, I disagree. I'd like you to look at Exhibit 1 My Lady. The newly divorced woman. She's out on the prowl for a new mate, all of a sudden the baby puke covered track suit top she's been wearing for the last two years is thrown in the laundry basket and the make up case gathering dust is opened to reveal a myriad of sumptuous delights.
She is only now making the effort, like she did when she first started going out with her ex-husband. When she catches a new fella, it will be back to no make up, pulled back hair and period knickers.
Woman: first she mates, then she lies around farting.
Some times people want to look good, because well it's nice.
How many older ladies do you see, with expensive tinted hair and makeup it's not all about seeking a mate. Sometimes it's just about feeling good in how one looks.
Or else we blokes would wonder around in jumpsuits, with 3 foot beards.
Quote: sootyj @ 15th April 2014, 11:51 PM BSTOr else we blokes would wonder around in jumpsuits, with 3 foot beards.
Like your mum.
Quote: sootyj @ 15th April 2014, 11:52 PM BSTSome times people want to look good, because well it's nice.
How many older ladies do you see, with expensive tinted hair and makeup it's not all about seeking a mate. Sometimes it's just about feeling good in how one looks.
Or else we blokes would wonder around in jumpsuits, with 3 foot beards.
Like your mum.
With you it's lick your mum
Quote: sootyj @ 15th April 2014, 11:52 PM BSTSome times people want to look good, because well it's nice.
How many older ladies do you see, with expensive tinted hair and makeup it's not all about seeking a mate. Sometimes it's just about feeling good in how one looks.
Or else we blokes would wonder around in jumpsuits, with 3 foot beards.
Like your mum.
With you it's lick your mum
Damn you Sootyj!
Maybe the divorce improved her self-esteem? Ground down in the drudgery of being a baby making machine for a man who prefers pork scratchings down the pub to a night of fevered love making?
Maybe she used to make an effort until he became more interested in the price of the new granite worktops in the utility room so found comfort in a packet of Dorito's and a tub of Ben and Jerry's?
Suddenly she is divorced, she doesn't have to pick his pants up off the floor or listen to his snoring all night. She has more time and more sleep. She is ready for action once again.
Quote: sootyj @ 15th April 2014, 11:52 PM BSTHow many older ladies do you see, with expensive tinted hair and makeup it's not all about seeking a mate. Sometimes it's just about feeling good in how one looks.
This is very true.
though its worth remembering at a core level we are all slightly evolved monkeys. And our primary aim is to ensure our genetics carry on into the next generation.
Quote: Jennie @ 15th April 2014, 11:58 PM BSTMaybe the divorce improved her self-esteem? Ground down in the drudgery of being a baby making machine for a man who prefers pork scratchings down the pub to a night of fevered love making?
Maybe she used to make an effort until he became more interested in the price of the new granite worktops in the utility room so found comfort in a packet of Dorito's and a tub of Ben and Jerry's?
Suddenly she is divorced, she doesn't have to pick his pants up off the floor or listen to his snoring all night. She has more time and more sleep. She is ready for action once again.
Maybe she stopped making an effort because she took her bloke for granted, had a baby but didn't bother to shed the weight, thought dressing up or even having sex with her partner was too much effort and became a lazy, dull, whining, hag who spent all day on Mumsnet complaining about her husband.
The next thing you know, she's shocked when she finds out he's cheating on her. How can this be?! Then it finally dawns on her that being an unglamorous, frumpy, overweight bore is not the best way to attract and keep a mate.
Unfortunately, it's a lesson learned rather too late and she's already lost one husband. Let's hope she makes the effort for hubby number 2.
Quote: sootyj @ 15th April 2014, 11:59 PM BSTwe are all slightly evolved monkeys.
That is still the kindest thing any BCG member has ever said to me on the forum.
Quote: Renegade Carpark @ 16th April 2014, 12:04 AM BSTMaybe she stopped making an effort because she took her bloke for granted, had a baby but didn't bother to shed the weight, thought dressing up or even having sex with her partner was too much effort and became a lazy, dull, whining, hag who spent all day on Mumsnet complaining about her husband.
The next thing you know, she's shocked when she finds out he's cheating on her. How can this be?! Then it finally dawns on her that being an unglamorous, frumpy, overweight bore is not the best way to attract and keep a mate.
Unfortunately, it's a lesson learned rather too late and she's already lost one husband. Let's hope she makes the effort for hubby number 2.
The gig writing for Mills and Boons didn't really work out did it RCP
Quote: Renegade Carpark @ 16th April 2014, 12:05 AM BST.
That is still the kindest thing any BCG member has ever said to me on the forum.
Some of us more so than others....
She gave the best years of her life to being the kind of woman he wanted her to be. Stayed at home and had his kids so he could keep swanning off on foreign trips with his golfing buddies. Turned a blind eye when he started shagging his "executive assistant" weeks before they took the kids to Disneyland.
How could she lose the baby weight? Food was her only comfort in this loveless marriage. She didn't want him pawing at her the entire time knowing that he had been in a Travelodge with his mistress that afternoon. Slowly sinking into a deep depression, food was her only friend.
When he started cheating, she blamed herself. She had become fat because she had had his kids. She became whiny because she was trying to run a house and make sure everything at home was up to his standards. She was unglamourous because somehow going to Chloe's basketball game was more important than painting her nails.
Yes, she blamed herself. If only she had done more to keep him. He told her she should have done more that it was her fault he cheated. Sadly it takes two to make a relationship work. And he had long since checked out. Yet still she wanted to keep going. She didn't want her children to come from a broken home.
I am sure Mumsnet told her to LTB. I hope she did.
Quote: sootyj @ 16th April 2014, 12:07 AM BSTThe gig writing for Mills and Boons didn't really work out did it RCP
Wait until you read my new tracksuit ripper: 'From Hackney With Love'/
It tells the story of Tracy Scroggins, a 16 year old girl who gets pregnant in order to get a council flat. When her first boyfriend Wayne is sent to prison for burglary, she finds comfort in chips. After putting on 4 stone, she realises she needs more money for leggings, tattoos and gold hooped earrings. So she devises a cunning plan to become impregnated once more - that's right, she shags a black bloke, because really, they will have sex with anything.
Now with two children and 6 stone overweight, she needs more child support money for hair extensions and a new mobile phone. So she comes up with another cunning plan - that's right, she shags a black bloke, because really, they will have sex with anything.
15 years later, her daughter does exactly the same thing. Hooray!
when I read Jennie and RCP I do sometimes hear this
Quote: Jennie @ 16th April 2014, 12:11 AM BSTShe gave the best years of her life to being the kind of woman he wanted her to be. Stayed at home and had his kids so he could keep swanning off on foreign trips with his golfing buddies. Turned a blind eye when he started shagging his "executive assistant" weeks before they took the kids to Disneyland.
How could she lose the baby weight? Food was her only comfort in this loveless marriage. She didn't want him pawing at her the entire time knowing that he had been in a Travelodge with his mistress that afternoon. Slowly sinking into a deep depression, food was her only friend.
When he started cheating, she blamed herself. She had become fat because she had had his kids. She became whiny because she was trying to run a house and make sure everything at home was up to his standards. She was unglamourous because somehow going to Chloe's basketball game was more important than painting her nails.
Yes, she blamed herself. If only she had done more to keep him. He told her she should have done more that it was her fault he cheated. Sadly it takes two to make a relationship work. And he had long since checked out. Yet still she wanted to keep going. She didn't want her children to come from a broken home.
I am sure Mumsnet told her to LTB. I hope she did.
Very good. You should enter that into a play writing competition. They're all run and judged by middle class women who love this sub-Eastenders kitchen sink relationship crap. Plus being a woman yourself, you're bound to win. Though you might have stiff competition from an ethnic with their never ending tales of racism and life on the streets of Peckham.
Quote: sootyj @ 16th April 2014, 12:15 AM BSTwhen I read Jennie and RCP I do sometimes hear this
That is what we are.