British Comedy Guide

I read the news today oh boy! Page 1,448

Quote: sootyj @ 11th February 2014, 12:22 AM GMT

No I meant you're referencing poor English, but I'm guessing you knew that.

Actually I didn't even think about that, your spelling lately has been flawless, so I wasn't having a dig. Internet arguments all over the web, especially You Tube are full of grammar Nazis trying to derail the debate or cast aspersions when they are losing ground. It is a very cheap tactic which I deplore.

I hear The Grand Theatre Wolverhampton is currently auditioning for the Ugly Sisters for the panto later on this year . .

Whistling nnocently

Then I guess this is what happens when you rely on people's appreciation of irony as a defence.
Rather like one of those mentally unwell types who take on the armed police; wearing body armour made from tea trays covered in tinfoil.

Quote: Oldrocker @ 11th February 2014, 12:28 AM GMT

I hear The Grand Theatre Wolverhampton is currently auditioning for the Ugly Sisters for the panto later on this year . .

Whistling nnocently

Jeez OR if you're going to hang around the stage door with a bunch of roses and a bottle of Rose, remember to check for Adams Apples this time.

Quote: sootyj @ 11th February 2014, 12:31 AM GMT

Then I guess this is what happens when you rely on people's appreciation of irony as a defence.

Only when you use it...or do you actually believe that Paul McCartney used to beat Heather Mills with her own prosthetic leg? That's the funny thing about humour.

She accused him of it.

I hope you're not accusing her of making up allegations.

But no I am kidding. I tend to wave a white flag when people call me out on my bullshit. No point in defending what I don't actually believe me.
That would be like a mercenary for the Church of the Latter Day Saints.

Quote: sootyj @ 11th February 2014, 12:52 AM GMT

But no I am kidding. I tend to wave a white flag when people call me out on my bullshit. No point in defending what I don't actually believe me.
That would be like a mercenary for the Church of the Latter Day Saints.

:D

Hey, it's all rock and roll matey.

Shirley Temple has died :(

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainment-arts-26135627

Quote: Tim Azure @ 11th February 2014, 1:02 PM GMT

Shirley Temple-Black, as she became. I thought she was already dead...

Laughing out loud That's the first thing I thought!
I assumed she had died ages ago...

RIP to her :(

http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/2014/02/10/victims-take-uni-classes-sexual-violence-perpetrators_n_4758976.html?utm_hp_ref=uk&utm_hp_ref=uk

'We must do something about toxic lad culture at Universities!'

Here are a few gems -

Kelley Temple, women's officer at the National Union of Students, says lad culture is often "sexist, misogynistic and homophobic...There is a 'sexualised culture' which occasionally spills over into sexual abuse." - So young lads are basically lads, the vast majority are fine but a small minority commit assaults, so let's punish all of them.

*In the focus groups I have attended, one girl told me: 'My friend had some guy put his hand down her pants on the dance flow. She was a really quiet girl who didn't say anything. Guys think it's ok to do that.' - young people having a feel up on the dance floor. Shocking.

"Another student recited an incident which had happened to her friend, telling me: 'My friend girl was sexually assaulted by one of our male friends after falling asleep in his bed at the end of a drunken night out, but felt she couldn't tell anyone about it. - drunk girl get's in guy's bed and for some reason he thinks she wants some action, he touches her and she says nothing. What a monster. (let's disregard the second hand nature of the story and any possibility that the friend said this so she didn't sound easy)

There are more stories some worse (real sexual harassment) some pathetic (a boy yelled something rude at me) but the overall message is the same - young men act like young men, they're horny, they tell sick jokes and wind each other up. Young women find their aggression and confidence a bit frightening - even though that is what they look for in a mate and presumably female university students have lived a sheltered life where they are unaware that young lads are looking for sex. So the answer it seems is to stop men acting like men and make them act more like women.

You know what will change this kind of behaviour? A bunch of feminists launching a confrontational campaign to emasculate them and ban everything they like. That'll go down well.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-26124894

'In other news, the benefits bill is to be slashed by another £2.5bn.'

Is this total bollocks or what?

You surely cannot tattoo eyeballs?

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2556793/Modification-artist-spends-10-000-attempting-turn-Devil.html

No, not tattoo, a red dye is injected, very dangerous procedure then He wears yellow contact lenses.

Brilliant !!

http://www.expressandstar.com/news/2014/02/12/wolverhampton-graduate-joe-turns-train-travellers-into-cartoon-characters/

I know I'll get accused of being a heartless bastard - but this flooding crisis is really bringing out the worst in our ever-more needy population.
Woman on the news complaining about lack of sandbags - "We've known this was coming for weeks - so where are the sandbags"
Down the shops, you lack-lustre bint!
Sandbags from Amazon - readily available with overnight delivery - sand from a builder's merchant.
£50 gets you enough for about 35 bags.
it's your f**king house.
People are now looting sand-bags - removing ones laid by soldiers to protect a sub-station.
Grow a spine, FFS.

This is Dave's Big Society in action.

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