British Comedy Guide

I read the news today oh boy! Page 1,094

Quote: AJGO @ December 7 2012, 4:02 PM GMT

If you murder someone, like in a case where you've removed their head and limbs, then please stop wasting the country's money and time.

Cutting up the body after the crime isn't necessarily an intent of murder. You could still kill someone on a crazy, unpremeditated whim and then try to hide the body through dismemberment.

I mean, it's wrong and the guy was a total scumbag and most definitely guilty of murder based on the evidence, but you can't have a blanket ban on manslaughter based on what happens to the body afterwards.

Quote: Renegade Carpark @ December 7 2012, 4:07 PM GMT

Not the most manly of boy's names admittedly.

Blokes can be nurses too.

Rolling eyes

Quote: Badge @ December 7 2012, 4:07 PM GMT

Is there a distinction between the act of killing somebody and the act of covering it up?

Probably. I haven't got around to that bit of the guide to how Things Will Be Done When AJGO Is In Charge Of The World. Skipped straight from uneducated outrage to different types of hat.

Quote: shaggy292 @ December 7 2012, 4:11 PM GMT

Blokes can be nurses too.

Rolling eyes

With a name like Jacintha, they probably will be.

Quote: AJGO @ December 7 2012, 4:12 PM GMT

Skipped straight from uneducated outrage to different types of hat.

Laughing out loud

Quote: AJGO @ December 7 2012, 3:38 PM GMT

http://www.guardian.co.uk/uk/2012/dec/07/brother-admits-killing-eastenders-gemma-mccluskie

Has anyone in recent years pleaded guilty when they've killed someone? Shall we just get rid of the murder charge unless you're caught being a professional assassin? Of course it was a 'loss of control' you sadistic f**king creep, otherwise you and all the other murderers would be strolling around killing people all the time. What is the point of bringing in various experts unless there is genuine doubt as to the capability or responsibility of the accused who is admitting manslaughter? Every time I read about a murder, and it is murder to purposefully take someone's life against their will, there's some supposed grounds or other for diminished responsibility. Not only does it make the people who may well have diminished responsibility more vulnerable by using it in every bloody case, but it's more time and money spent, and for what?- I hope no-one is going to give someone a lesser sentence regardless of how it's tarted up when they're capable of doing something like this. Seeing a red mist and finding you've strangled someone in a heated, scrapping row is dreadful but is a bit more understandable than killing someone and removing their limbs and head before discarding them. Course he's got amnesia.

Charlie Brooker's wrote about similar absurd defences a while back.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/2008/mar/10/charliebrooker

Quote: Badge @ December 7 2012, 4:07 PM GMT

On the nurse issue, hopefully it will mean fewer prank calls in the name of comedy. A bit of a high price to pay, mind.

No monarchy, no prank call.

I'm not holding my breath, to be honest.

Quote: Jinky @ December 7 2012, 4:19 PM GMT

No monarchy

Good luck with that one Jinky. The Commonwealth has just ratified the agreement that if the first baby is a girl, it will be the next in line for the throne and Wills married a 'commoner'.

If you think Twilight fans are bonkers, they're nothing compared to the armies of women throughout the world who are in love the British Royal family.

It's like Disney Princesses, but real.

No telephone, no prank call. Ban the bastards!

Quote: Jinky @ December 7 2012, 4:19 PM GMT

No monarchy, no prank call.

I'm not holding my breath, to be honest.

It's ridiculous the fuss made over the pregnancy of some woman called Windsor, that has now itself led to a tragedy, no fault of the royals. But in a grown up country should we give so much attention and so much power to one family because of a ridiculous accident of birth. Lets end it all now, for the sake of these poor buggers who are cursed with the title royal and because it is so bloody silly as a concept in this day and age.

Quote: Renegade Carpark @ December 7 2012, 4:23 PM GMT

It's like Disney Princesses, but real.

Founded by Nazis?

Quote: Pingl @ December 7 2012, 4:24 PM GMT

Lets end it all now, for the sake of these poor buggers who are cursed with the title royal and because it is so bloody silly as a concept in this day and age.

Please see my reply a little further up. You would want to ban the monarchy, you miserable man.

Quote: Lee @ December 7 2012, 4:24 PM GMT

Founded by Nazis?

Bazinga! :D

We don't actually know that the nurse's death had anything to do with the prank call, do we?

Quote: Badge @ December 7 2012, 4:24 PM GMT

No telephone, no prank call. Ban the bastards!

YES!!

I suppose we ought to wait until the full facts become available. Maybe the nurse had a lot of other things going on in her life and this pushed her over the edge. Maybe the management at the hospital spent the last 24 hours screaming at her. Maybe she was just a very delicate person.

I mean, as prank calls go, this was rubbish and hardly worth losing a night's sleep over, let alone a life.

Quote: Renegade Carpark @ December 7 2012, 4:25 PM GMT

Please see my reply a little further up. You would want to ban the monarchy, you miserable man.

Bazinga! :D

Ban them, consign them to history and let them live their lives in peaCE, they won't be short of a bob or two. Then if they choose to follow the celebrity, hello route that's there own lookout. A miserable republican :D

How come they're not telling us the circumstances behind Jacintha's death? Surely this just leaves everything open for rampant speculation, wild rumour and ill informed accusations?

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