British Comedy Guide

I read the news today oh boy! Page 1,008

Quote: youngian @ September 19 2012, 12:19 AM BST

Kelvin MacKenzie doorstepped over Hillsborough-

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1R4oiBxXfNE&feature=player_embedded

Sterling work from Ch4 News's Alex Thomson in full Ted Maul mode.

"Why are you hiding in your own house?"

Marvellous.

I'm surprised he didn't key it.

The Elephant Whisperer goes to the great elephant cemetery in the sky.

http://delightmakers.com/news/wild-elephants-gather-inexplicably-mourn-death-of-elephant-whisperer/

Quote: billwill @ September 19 2012, 11:53 AM BST

The Elephant Whisperer goes to the great elephant cemetery in the sky.

That's sweet. Although elephhants are very impressive animals.

When their ears are that big there's no need to shout anyway.

'I'm a pirate' shouted drunken woman before hijacking passenger ferry-

Whelan was so drunk on Lambrini she dialled 999 and officers raced to the scene but she then unmoored the 45ft vessel and started drifting away.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/howaboutthat/9554957/Im-a-pirate-shouted-drunken-woman-before-hijacking-passenger-ferry.html

She was heard shouting "I'm Jack Sparrow" and "I'm A Pirate" as she made her escape on the double-decker ferry.

But the boat then began hitting other vessels 'like a pinball machine' - including a £70,000 catamaran, Torquay Magistrates Court in Devon heard.

Quote: youngian @ September 20 2012, 12:16 PM BST

Whelan was so drunk on Lambrini she dialled 999 and officers raced to the scene but she then unmoored the 45ft vessel and started drifting away.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/howaboutthat/9554957/Im-a-pirate-shouted-drunken-woman-before-hijacking-passenger-ferry.html

'a chronic alcoholic awaiting a liver transplant...'

We need some Tory NHS cuts: stat!

Fortunately thanks to all those unlicensed foreign drivers, driving un MOT'd deathtrap she's more likely to get a donor organ.

A nice story here, I like the use of 'kebab' as a verb:

http://uk.news.yahoo.com/kfc-customer-in-corby-jailed-for-restaurant-rampage-after-staff-refused-to-serve-him-bargain-bucket.html

Quote: youngian @ September 20 2012, 12:16 PM BST

'I'm a pirate' shouted drunken woman before hijacking passenger ferry-

For some reason the BBC news article has seen fit to tell us her address (and full name of course). Bit odd.

Quote: billwill @ September 19 2012, 11:53 AM BST

The Elephant Whisperer goes to the great elephant cemetery in the sky.

http://delightmakers.com/news/wild-elephants-gather-inexplicably-mourn-death-of-elephant-whisperer/

Teary

So very sweet:

http://www.metro.co.uk/news/912567-budding-artist-four-raises-200-for-charity-by-selling-drawings-online

Quote: youngian @ September 20 2012, 12:16 PM BST

'I'm a pirate' shouted drunken woman before hijacking passenger ferry-

Whelan was so drunk on Lambrini she dialled 999 and officers raced to the scene but she then unmoored the 45ft vessel and started drifting away.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/howaboutthat/9554957/Im-a-pirate-shouted-drunken-woman-before-hijacking-passenger-ferry.html

She was heard shouting "I'm Jack Sparrow" and "I'm A Pirate" as she made her escape on the double-decker ferry.

But the boat then began hitting other vessels 'like a pinball machine' - including a £70,000 catamaran, Torquay Magistrates Court in Devon heard.

Maybe she was just gearing up for 'Talk Like a Pirate' day which I believe is 19th. September.

Maybe every bottle of Lambrini should come with satellite tracking, so we know where chav scum birds are at any one time?

The guy who invented died today.

Partially of binge drinking.

I bet there won't be one thing quite that ironic, for quite some time.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2149879/Japanese-man-22-cooks-genitals-serves-paying-dinner-party-guests.html

Apparently a few complaints of the food being a little too salty and a little heavy on the cheese were heard.

I wonder if his bosses gave him the sac afterwards?

Quote: sootyj @ September 20 2012, 4:52 PM BST

The guy who invented died today.

Partially of binge drinking.

I bet there won't be one thing quite that ironic, for quite some time.

Nooo, not the guy who invented!

Share this page