GORDON BROWN DAVID CAMERON AND NICK CLEGG STAND IN A LINE ON STAGE.
GORDON
I'm offering tax cuts.
DAVID
We're offering even bigger tax cuts.
NICK
We Liberals are offering the biggest tax cuts.
GORDON
My tax cuts will be huge.
DAVID
I'll cut all taxes.
NICK
We'll cut all taxes and sell Charle's Kennedys liver to united distillers.
GORDON
I'll cut all taxes and I'll sell Westminster and give you the money.
DAVID
I'll sell the NHS, the MOD and the royal family. Then ride around on my bicycle throwing money at people. We could make it a bicycle for two Nick? Can I call you Daisy?
NICK
I'm not that sort of party leader! We Liberals will fire every government employee.
DAVID
We'll set fire to every government employee!
GORDON
We in Labour will make Vidal Sasoon and Edward Scissor Hands head of a special cutting Quango!
NICK
We'll not only produce massive cuts...we'll cap city bonuses!
GORDON
Oh now you're just be silly. Everyone knows you can't cut the shit.
DAVID
And I thought you were so cool!
