British Comedy Guide

It all happens in Eastbourne

SCENE STARTS WITH A FOCUS ON THE SIGN "WELCOME TO EASTBORNE"
NEXT A VIEW OF THE HIGH STREET ZOOMING IN ON THE CCTV CAMERAS AND THEN CUT TO THE CAMERA CONTROL ROOM.

CCTV OPERATOR 1
This one looks a bit suspect

WE SEE AN ELDERLY GENTLEMAN USING A ZEBRA CROSSING ON AN ELECTRIC BUGGY

CCTV OPERATOR 2
Yea he's definitely up to no good

THE OLD GENT AMBLES ALONG THE PAVEMENT ON HIS BUGGY

CCTV OPERATOR 1
Hello control we have a suspicious looking character in the high street outside the greengrocers heading north toward the T junction over

Police Control
Message received and understood

CCTV OPERATOR 2
I don't know what the world's coming to

CCTV OPERATOR 1
Does he think we were born yesterday?

AT THIS POINT THE MAN STOPS AT A ZEBRA CROSSING FACING THE ROADAND THEN REVERSES QUICKLY STRAIGHT THROUGH THE WINDOW OF BON MARCHE

HE RE-EMERGES CARRYING A BUNDLE OF FLORAL FROCS, SLIPPERS AND NICE GREY SLACKS. HE GOES FULL SPEED AHEAD AS WE HEAR THE POLICE SIRENS APPROACHING.

FINAL SHOT TWO VERY OLD POLICEMEN IN TWO SIMILAR BUGGIES COME INTO SHOT WITH BLUES & TWOS WAILING & FLASHING

CCTV OPERATOR 1
When will they ever learn?

Haha! I did really like this. I was expecting yet another gag where the police got it totally wrong, but this was really well done. Maybe a shot of them "very slowly getting away" would fit.

I like it too. Needs a massive Double-H cup hammock bra or something stuck over his eyes as he drives away though...

Dan

This is very funny, and again it's the little details that makes this a killer.

Share this page