Bus Conductor

THIS IS THE LORD'S PRAYER AS READ BY AN EX LONDON BUS CONDUCTOR AFTER TAKING EARLY RETIREMENT DUE TO STRESS. NOT ALL MY OWN WORK BUT IT MADE ME LAUGH & WORTH SHARING

Our Father, who art in Hendon
Harrow be thy name
Thy Kingston come
Thy Wimbledon on Erith as it is in Hendon
Give us this day our Leatherhead
And forgive us our bypasses
As we forgive those who Queens Park against us
And lead us not into Thames Ditton
But deliver us from Ewell
For thyne is the Kingston
The Purley and the Crawley
For Esher & Esher
Crouch End

Oh that's lovely and carefully put together.

Quote: Summer G @ November 10 2008, 11:44 PM GMT

NOT ALL MY OWN WORK BUT IT MADE ME LAUGH & WORTH SHARING

View original

Not 'alf:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bus_Driver's_Prayer

Maybe worth sharing, but not in Critique?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bus_Driver's_Prayer

the blinking apostrophe spoils the blinking link

Very nice.
I sold something similar to a card company many moons ago. It's popped up all over the place ever since. It went something like

The Lad's Prayer

Our Lager,
Which art in barrels,
Hallowed be thy drink,
Thy will be drunk,
At home as it is in the pub,
Forgive us our daily spillages,
And forgive those that spill beer upon us,
Lead us not into wine tasting,
And deliver us from alco-pops,
For ours is the bitter,
The spirits and the lager,
Forever and ever,

Barmen

Didn't Ronnie Barker do this?

Quote: Bad dog @ November 11 2008, 11:15 AM GMT

Didn't Ronnie Barker do this?

View original

I hope not. If he did I've ripped him off!! No it can't be - there was no such thing as alcopops in Barker's day, surely.

Hmm...

I don't know, for some reason I can hear Ronnie Barker reading it. It seems really familiar, but obviously I'm getting it mixed up with something that he did do, as RB fans would have pointed it out by now. Hmm.

Like I said not all my own work, my dad had the job of setting this up for printing in 1942 so probably predates Ronnie Barker. I wrote it from memory but didn't realise it was so well known. I thought it may inspire some copy cat type stuff and it was good to see Lee's version

I looked on the net, and found references to Ronnie's 'slang vicar', which I recall, mainly the bit about the 'Richard the third.' Maybe I'm getting it mixed up with that.