British Comedy Guide

Bombers.

IN A CROWDED STATION A MAN STEPS FORWARD OPENS HIS COAT, HE HAS AN EXPLOSIVE BELT.

MAN1

In the name of Allah die infidels!

ANOTHER MAN OPENS HIS COAT HE HAS A SIMILAR BELT.

MAN2

Oi mate I was here first.

MAN1

This is awkward, isn't there supposed to be a web sit that prevents this sort of thing happening.

MAN2

Yeh well I was here first, so go on hop it.

MAN1

We could go together?

MAN2

Yeh right, you blow yourself up first. And you get to spend the rest of eterenity chasing 70 virgins like an Islamic Benny Hill. Mean while Muggins here is getting bummed by Satan in hell.

MAN1

Are you even a Muslim?

MAN2

Nah just a really commited Cat Stevens fan. Besides it was this or a job in Aldi.

MAN1

That would be bad. Ok you count down and then we go.

MAN2

5,4,3....wait a ruddy mo you were about to blow yourself up.

MAN1

Wasn't.

MAN2

I saw you squeexing your detonator, I'll f**king kill you.

MAN1

That is the general idea.

MAN3 WALKS ON HE IS A BISHOP IN FULL ROBES.

MAN3

Psyche bitches, mama church finally got with the times.

MAN3 BLOWS HIMSELF UP.

EPILOGUE MEN 1,2,3 ARE ALL BEING BUMMED BY DEMONS IN A LAKE OF FIRE.

MAN1

This isn't so bad.

MAN2

Poof.

MAN3

Sodding Pope.

'Chasing 70 virgins like an Islamic Benny Hill' is a funny line.

This is your best yet I loved it!

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