BILL: As always, a few Olympic gold medals gets everyone speculating about whether the country is on a winning streak. To discuss this, we have Sports Futurologist Derek Mavert with us. Derek, can you tell us a bit about Sports Futurology?
DEREK: I try to predict where sport is going to go over the next few decades. The cycling and the swimming success at the Olympics is a pretty good example. If those trends continue, combined with rising sea levels due to global warming, I’d say that well within the next ten to fifteen years, Britain will come to dominate the world at underwater cycling.
BILL: But that sport doesn’t actually exist. Does that make it harder to predict?
DEREK: Part of my job as a Sports Futurologist is to predict emerging sporting events and I’ll tell you this, when the sea levels rise they’re going to regret the decision not to make the roof extend the whole way over Wembley Stadium.
BILL: How will medical technology affect sport? Will footballers ever stop breaking metatarsals?
DEREK: Soon it will be possible to replace injured body parts with bionic ones.
BILL: So we may end up with a cyborg David Beckham?
DEREK: It might take a while before they are able to replace complicated things like his legs or his spine but the technology already exists to replace very simple things like his brain or his wife.
BILL: Wow! Is there any other emerging technology which might have an impact on football?
DEREK: It’s possible that we could use a microchip implanted in the brains of the players to allow the crowd to control the teams themselves using a Nintendo Wii remote each. Exciting times.
BILL: It certainly sounds like it. But I guess there’s one question everyone wants answered – will Andy Murray ever win Wimbledon?
DEREK: I’m afraid not. In fact I think that Britain will get so bad at tennis that sooner or later we’ll actually see Centre Court itself get knocked out in the first round at Wimbledon.
BILL: So, some good things and some not so good things ahead but I have to say it all sounds pretty feasible to me. Thank you Derek Mavert.