DAVID CAMERON IS ON THE PHONE.
DAVID
Yes Mr Obama it's great you're America's first Black president. I'm going to be Britain's first black PM.
PAUSE
Well I'm not strictly black, but I do like Dizzy Rascal.
GEORGE OSBOURNE STAGGERS IN LOOKING A STATE.
DAVID
I've got to go. Go Bama!
HANGS UP.
DAVID
George, George what happened?
GEORGE
Oh David it was horrible, I was in the south of France and I bumped into Mandelson.
DAVID
And he was rude to you, he hit you?
GEORGE.
No he whispered sweet things in my ear, about how much he hated Brown, he made me feel pretty.
DAVID
Oh Georgie Porgie pudding and pie, don't you know Mandy always lies.
GEORGE
Next thing I knew I'm on a yacht, I think Mandy might have bought me some drinks.
DAVID
Oh poor Georgie.
GEORGE
Then this Russian oligarch came over, he reached into his pants, it was huge.
DAVID
What was?
GEORGE
His cheque book.
DAVID
Oh good you got the cheque then.
GEORGE
But I felt so dirty, humiliated and cheap.
DAVID
Don't worry George, when we win. Every one's going to feel dirty, humiliated and cheap. Tomorrow belongs to we.