Pilot in Crisis

My first attempt at "topical" radio sketch.

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FX: Light aircraft in mid-flight.

PILOT: Control! Come in control!

CONTROL (D): This is control. Over.

PILOT: I'm at 10,000 feet, and, dear god, I've gone blind!

CONTROL (D): Could you repeat that, sir? You've gone blind? Over.

PILOT: One moment I could see perfectly, the next everything went black. Dear god, I'm at 10,000 feet!

CONTROL (D): Okay, sir… we've got a fix on your position. We're scrambling jets to intercept you. Over.

PILOT: Thank you, thank you…

CONTROL (D): You're holding steady for now, but I'm going to have to talk you down. Over.

[Pause. Aircraft noise.]

CONTROL (D): Sir? Do you copy? Sir?

PILOT: Hello? Hello? Are you still there?

CONTROL (D): I said, I'm going to have to talk you down. Over.

PILOT: Hello? Hello?

(D) means the voice will be distorted to sound like it's coming over the aircraft's radio.

I just LOL-ed. Very good.

I might be being thick here, but has the pilot gone deaf as well?

If that's the gag, I think it'd be funnier if it's the controller who goes deaf.

I have the same question as Lee - I'm assuming he went deaf too, but had to read it a few times to see if I'd missed the obvious. For me, needs maybe something to explain, e.g. the Pilot saying, "Oh no, my ears are popping". But then Badge got it in one, so maybe I'm just slow

Slight change to the last three lines to make it more obvious that the pilot has gone deaf.

(Not that it matters much. It's not topical any more!)

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PILOT: Hello? Hello? Are you still there?

CONTROL (D): Yes, I'm still here. I said, I'm going to have to talk you down. Over.

PILOT: Hello? Hello?

hope you don't mind my version...yours inspired me to approach it from an amped up direction! a bit....like:

Pilot: Hello, Control. Somethings happening, my feet have gone numb. My god, i cant feel my legs.

Control: Don't worry son, I'm right here. Just keep heading towards the airfield, we'll get you down.

Pilot: Oh Jesus. My fingers, it's spreading.

Control: You're OK, stay on your present course.

Pilot: Aghhhhhh. My eyes. I cant see. I'm going to die. I'm going to die. Help me someone please.

Control: Listen to me kid, you get a grip. You are not going to die today. Not while I'm here. I've had people with heart attacks, had a man with a collapsed lung. Hell, i even had guy paralysed from the neck down that had to fly with his tongue. They are all alive today, thanks to me and you will be no different. There is no one that i can not talk down, you hear me kid. No one.

Pilot: Why's it gone so quiet? Hello? Hello?

Yeah, I didn't get the original post either. Perhaps a bit too subtle. Pete's hijack is quite good, but the last 'Control' line is way too long.

Dan

it is...but i thought that was funny - guy rambles on in "hero" styleeeee and all the while the blokes gone deaf.

The pilot went blind due to stroke, so maybe it's time to do one where the RAF pester a pilot having a wank?