Ok, so I've finally finished the script. I basically blew up the old one. I kiept some of the scenes from the first one but for the most part. It's all knew. I think this one is alkot better. It's a long script so if you can't read it all that's alright. Just give it a quik read and tell me what you think.
THE BEST YEARS OF OUR LIVES
The Pilot
INT. CAFETERIA - DAY
Two guys are sitting around a table in the school cafeteria.
BEN
Hey Alex, I have this idea for a sitcom.
ALEX
Shoot.
BEN
It would be based on our lives at school. I’d base a character on my self, and you and everyone else I know.
ALEX
You really think you would make a good sitcom character?
BEN
Why not? I can be very entertaining.
ALEX
You do realize people are laughing at you, not with you right?
BEN
No, I’m serious about this. I think this could really work.
ALEX
So the show would take place in the school?
BEN
Exactly.
ALEX
C’mon Ben, nothing funny ever happens here.
Behind Alex two teachers begin to make out, the principal is looking at a dirty magazine, another kid starts a fire, and various other outrageous things.
BEN
You’re right, it will never fly.
CUT TO:
A message appears on screen: Lesson 1: Life is truly unpredictable. Sometimes things just don’t work out the way you planed them.
INT. MATH CLASS - DAY
BEN and ALEX enter math class and sit down. They look hardly enthusiastic. Other kids begin to filter into class as well. It’s the first day of school.
ALEX
Why are we here?
BEN
Well it’s simple really. So we can go to a bigger, more difficult school.
ALEX
Then what?
BEN
Well, if we’re lucky, we’ll get a high paying job, marry a girl and start a family.
ALEX
So basically I’m looking forward to retirement.
BEN
Kind of depressing isn’t it?
ALEX
I’ll still be able to enjoy life when I’m sixty, right?
BEN
We can only hope.
ALEX
So, anything new on the lady front?
BEN
Lady front?
ALEX
You know... getting any action?
BEN
It’s all quiet on the lady front.
ALEX
Cupid’s arrow hasn’t struck yet?
BEN
Please, cupid would need a machine gun before I get lucky.
ALEX
You hear that Lenny has a new lady friend?
BEN
Lenny?
ALEX
Yeah.
BEN
Our friend Lenny?
ALEX
Yeah.
BEN
How did he pull that off?
ALEX
I don’t know. It’s one of the great mysteries of the universe, like how deaf people are able to get up for work on time.
BEN
Who names their kid Lenny anyways?
ALEX
I think he has angry parents.
BEN
Well still, no reason to take out the shortcomings of birth control on a poor innocent child.
ALEX
Speaking of the ladies man...
LENNY enters the class and sits down beside BEN and ALEX.
LENNY
Hey guys!
BEN/ALEX
(unenthusiastically)
Hey Lenny.
LENNY
Good to be back huh?
ALEX
That’s an interesting way of putting it.
BEN
So Lenny, what about this new girlfriend?
LENNY
What are you surprised or something?
BEN
Well...
LENNY
C’mon guys, I’m desirable aren’t I?
ALEX
Actually, I assumed the only way you got with her was some sort of massive scheme... but on second thought you’re probably not smart enough for that.
LENNY gives him nasty look.
BEN
Seriously though, how did you do it?
LENNY
It was simple really, all I did was...
MR. HARVEY enters the class. He seems as about excited to be back as the kids.
MR. HARVEY
Alright kids, welcome to Math 10. I’ll be your teacher Mr. Harvey. Who’s my TA?
ROY jumps out of his seat.
ROY
That would be me sir!
MR. HARVEY
Settle down cadet. Here’s today’s assignment. I’d like to think you’ll be done by the time I get back from my smoke, but that’s probably wishful thinking. If the principal comes by, try to act like you’re actually doing something.
He hands the assignment to ROY and heads for the door.
ALEX
Didn’t you just get here?
MR. HARVEY
(takes a deep sigh)
All the more reason to have a smoke.
MR. HARVEY exits the class.
BEN
Well that was inspiring.
ALEX
I guess it’s a good example of how the system can suck the life right out of you. On the bright side, it will give us a chance to hone our paper football skills.
ALEX takes out a piece of paper and begins constructing a paper football.
LENNY
Oh no Alex, not this year. I’m not going to be distracted by your silly games anymore. It starts out as paper football, then before you know it we’re ruler fencing (rubs his eye) and then finally, you decide to “take it up a notch” and the fire department is here.
ALEX
Hey, it’s not my fault that the class burnt down. If so many kids didn’t pull the fire alarm all the time the fire department might actually have gotten here sooner.
ROY comes by handing out the assignment. His chest is puffed out. He’s obviously very proud of his new responsibility.
ROY
This doesn’t look like work to me. What’s going on here?
BEN
We were merely conversing while we waited for your lazy ass to bring us the assignment.
ALEX
Not that we were actually going to work on it or anything, but it’s pretty hard to look like your working when you have nothing to work on.
BEN
I assume you see the obvious problem with the question you posed. So if you don’t mind we’ll just get back to not working.
ROY stands there, trying to make sense of what he just heard.
ALEX
(waves his hand)
Move along.
ROY hands them the assignment with a glare and carries on. ALEX finishes constructing his paper football and begins to play with Lenny. Ben stretches out and puts his feet up on his desk.
BEN
Man school’s hard.
CUT TO:
INT. FRENCH CLASS - DAY
BEN enters French Class. He looks around and finally settles on a seat beside a pretty girl. Ben sits down and the girl gives him a smile.
BEN
(in his head)
Huh, I think this girl has a thing for me. Should I say something? Yeah, that seems like a good idea. Wait, quick check, how’s my breath? Did I put deodorant today? Am I wearing clean underpants?
LACY
Are you going to introduce yourself or just sit there wondering if you smell or not?
BEN
Do I?
LACY
I haven’t noticed anything.
BEN
Excellent, my name’s Ben. And you would be...
LACY
Lacy.
BEN
Pleasure to meet you Lacy.
LACY.
Likewise.
BEN
Would you mind lending me a writing utensil? I seem to have forgotten mine.
LACY
And whose fault would that be?
BEN
Well mine, what’s your point?
LACY
How do I know you’ll give it back? I don’t know you. For all I know taking it to sell for profit.
BEN
That’s right, I run a black market pencil business. That’s how I bought these clothes.
LACY
Fine, take it, I just want it back. I’m watching you.
BEN
You’re really angry at the world aren’t you?
LACY
I’m sorry. I had a big fight with my Mom this morning.
BEN
Well, lay it on me sister.
LACY
She took my shirt.
BEN
She stole it?
LACY
She wanted to wear it.
BEN
And this angered you?
LACY
Well I wanted to wear it too.
BEN
Well it is your shirt.
LACY
Precisely.
BEN
Did you consider stealing one of her shirts?
LACY
I don’t like her shirts
BEN
What about pants?
LACY
She still thinks leather is in.
BEN
I see... Well what about bras? Your breasts the same size?
LACY
(offended)
Excuse me.
BEN
Maybe when I know you a little better.
LACY
Well is getting back at her really the best way to solve this?
BEN
Well is your mom taking your shirt really something that should ruin your whole day, to the point that you take out your frustration on a poor, innocent, handsome bystander?
LACY
Well if I see any handsome guys I’ll try not to snap at them.
BEN
Ouch.
LACY laughs. Mrs. James enters frantically flipping through a French-English dictionary.
MRS. JAMES
(obviously stressed)
Umm... okay, I’m your teacher Mrs. James.
Mrs. James takes out a bottle of pills tosses a few in her mouth.
I guess I’ll be teaching French. Umm... okay, I don’t have enough text books for all of you so you’ll have to split into pairs. So come up and grab one and then start reading.
RANDOM STUDENT
But Mrs. James, what pages do we read?
MRS. JAMES
Oh, right, pages. Uhh... god I don’t know, it’s all French. You’re bound to learn something.
BEN and LACY look around as everyone partners up and heads to the front of the class.
BEN
Well I guess you’re stuck with me.
LACY
It appears that way.
BEN
Don’t worry. I’m really not that bad.
LACY
(laughs)
I’ll have to take your word for it.
CUT TO:
INT. ENGLISH CLASS - DAY
ALEX and LENNY are sitting in English class. LENNY is hard at work while ALEX is obviously bored. ROY circles the room observing the students while the teacher is asleep at his desk.
ALEX
I’m so bored.
LENNY
Well, you know, usually people keep busy at school by doing work. Take everyone else in the class for example.
ALEX
Lenny, if I do my work they win.
LENNY
Who’s “they”?
ALEX
The system. They want us to do our math, and our English, and read up on things that happened years ago. When are you going to use any of this? Never, that’s when. By keeping us occupied with meaningless crap they ensure that we’ll conform to mainstream society and never really succeed. By not doing my work I’m fighting the system and taking a stand against all those looking to keep me down.
LENNY
Is that the excuse you’re using this year?
ALEX
Sounds pretty good doesn’t it?
LENNY
It might actually work.
LENNY goes back to his school work. ALEX watches as ROY scolds another student for not working hard enough.
ALEX
Look at Roy, who does he think he is, Mussolini? Why should that poor girl be yelled at? She didn’t even do anything.
LENNY
Why do you suddenly care about a complete stranger?
ALEX
Lenny, I’m insulted. I’ve always been kind and sympathetic to other people’s needs.
LENNY
You’re looking at her boobs aren’t you?
ALEX
Hey, their victims too. Still, someone should do something about it. Someone needs to teach him a lesson.
LENNY
I know you mean well Alex, but we all know how this is going to end. You’re going to do something stupid, we’re going to get into trouble and then before you know it I’m grounded. This could really reduce chances of tricking my girlfriend into doing stuff with me.
ALEX
Fine, I won’t do anything, for now.
ROY comes over to ALEX and LENNY. He looks down at Alex’s blank sheet.
ROY
Alex, why aren’t you doing your work?
ALEX
Oh, but I am. I’m using new invisible ink.
ROY
There’s no such thing as invisible ink.
ALEX
Oh, you didn’t hear? It’s been all over the news.
ROY
I haven’t seen anything about it and I watch the news everyday.
ALEX
What station do you do watch?
ROY
Channel eight.
ALEX
Well there you go. It’s a known fact that channel eight is anti invisible ink.
ROY
Well, alright but I’m watching you.
ROY points to his eyes and then to ALEX. He begins to walk away and then stops suddenly and turns back towards ALEX.
ROY
Wait a minute. If the ink is invisible, how will the teacher mark it?
ALEX
Damn Roy, you got me. There’s no such thing as invisible ink. You’re a smart cookie.
ROY
Well I know that. But you’re still going to need to get back to work.
ALEX
Look Roy, I could say I’ll get to work but I’d be lying to you and more importantly I’d be lying to myself. So, if you don’t mind, I’m going to take out my mp3 player and let Jimi Hendrix do the rest.
ROY
You know music is not permitted in class Alex. I’m going to have to confiscate that.
ROY snatches the mp3 player away from ALEX.
ALEX
Hey, give that back!
ROY
Sorry, I can’t do that.
ALEX
Look Roy, I’ve been patient with you, but if you don’t give that back you’re going to regret it.
ROY
I do believe that’s a threat against a superior.
ALEX
Superior?
ROY
That’s right, as a TA I am your superior therefore giving me the ability to confiscate property as I see fit.
ALEX
Says who?
ROY pulls out a piece of paper.
ROY
Says section five point one of the TA’s job description.
ALEX
Who comes up with this crap?
ROY
How am I supposed to do my job adequately without a proper job description?
ALEX
I don’t care what the stupid piece of paper says, I want my mp3 player back!
ROY
No.
ALEX
I said give it back.
ROY
No.
ALEX
Give it back!
ROY
Fine, nobody can have it!
ROY throws the mp3 against the wall, breaking it to pieces. ALEX is in disbelief and is left speechless.
ROY
Now I didn’t want to have to do that but you left me no choice. I hope you’ve learned your lesson.
ROY walks away leaving ALEX totally stunned staring at his broken mp3 player.
LENNY
Well I certainly didn’t see that coming.
CUT TO:
INT. HALLWAY - DAY
BEN and LACY are exiting French class.
LACY
There’s no way Batman is better than Superman. Superman can do everything.
BEN
Exactly, that’s the problem. He’s too good. He’s got every super power in the book yet it still takes him a whole movie to foil the attempts of one ordinary man named Lex Luther.
LACY
Well what’s so great about Batman? He’s just an ordinary guy.
BEN
It’s because he’s an ordinary guy that makes him so appealing. Theoretically, if I made a flashy costume and bought a fast car I could be Batman.
LACY pokes BEN’s soft belly and laughs.
LACY
I don’t know how great a super hero you’d make Ben.
BEN
Hey, you’d be surprised how much muscle I have hidden under all this fat.
LACY
Well, this is my locker. Nice meeting you Ben.
BEN
The pleasure was all mine.
LACY
Maybe we can actually get some work done tomorrow.
BEN
Not if I can help it.
LACY
Bye Ben.
BEN
Bye.
CUT TO:
INT. HALLWAY - DAY
BEN is walking toward his locker. ALEX and LENNY are already there. LENNY is pulling his lunch out of his locker and ALEX is holding the pieces of his now totally destroyed mp3 player
BEN
Oh, I see you bought the new model. You can keep half of it at home and half of it at school.
ALEX
This isn’t a laughing matter. That egotistical teacher wanabe broke my mp3 player. Something is seriously wrong with that kid.
LENNY
You should have seen the look on his face, it was priceless.
ALEX
Lenny!
LENNY
C’mon, if that happened to me you’d still be laughing.
ALEX
Well obviously, but it happened to me making this a serious matter.
BEN
Well what do you want to do about it?
ALEX
I want vengeance!
LENNY
C’mon Alex, why can’t you just...
ALEX
Vengeance!
BEN
Lenny’s right Alex. Besides, I’m sure your mom will just buy you a new one.
ALEX
I’m sure she will, but that’s not the point. This was an obvious shot against me. If I just let it go I let him win.
BEN
I know it’s hard to be out done by Roy, but do you really want to be causing trouble on the first day. Look, let’s just go to the cafeteria and have some lunch. Lunch always cheers us up.
CUT TO:
INT. CAFETERIA - DAY
BEN, ALEX, and LENNY stare depressingly at their bland lunches.
BEN
Lunch sucks.
ALEX
I concur.
LENNY
Would a little flavor be too much to ask?
ALEX
So where’s this supposed girlfriend of yours Lenny?
BEN
She is real right?
LENNY
She’s at the store with her friend and yes, she is real. Hey Alex, what ever happened to your girlfriend?
ALEX
She was great, but I couldn’t deal with her Dad. He was this pompous Frenchie, thought he was so much better than I was. I thought our forefathers came here to get away from the French.
BEN
Alex, that’s racist.
ALEX
So?
BEN
People don’t like racists. Just call him a jerk.
ALEX
But then I’m insensitive.
BEN
That doesn’t matter. There are too many racists for people to care about someone who’s insensitive.
LENNY
Oh my god, I just realized something. What happens when I have to meet my girlfriend’s parents?
ALEX
Well for a normal person, it’s really not that big of a deal. For you, it could be a major problem.
LENNY
Just be my self right?
BEN
That’s a common misconception. Nobody wants to meet the real you, especially you. The fake you is always far more appealing than the real you. Parents are looking for a polite young man who will treat their daughters with respect. Now honestly, who among us fits that description?
ALEX and LENNY think about this for a second and then nod in agreement.
LENNY
And what about you Ben, any prospects you’re looking into?
BEN
As a matter of fact, I met a girl this morning and we happened to really hit it off.
ALEX
You sure she wasn’t trying hit her way off of you?
BEN
(sarcastically)
Ha ha, real funny.
ROY walks into the cafeteria and makes his way over to the guys’ table.
ALEX
Oh great, its sergeant suck-up.
ROY
I hope there aren’t any hard feelings about this morning Alex. I was merely performing my duties as TA. You understand right?
ALEX
The way I understand it, you owe me a new mp3 player.
BEN
C’mon Roy, just admit you’re sorry.
ROY
I will never apologize for upholding justice.
BEN
Then at least apologize for spying on Suzy Jensen through her bedroom window.
Camera turns to SUZY who clutches her breasts and turns away from ROY
ROY
I had reason to believe she was up to something. I was merely conducting surveillance.
LENNY
(chuckling)
Naked surveillance.
BEN
Look, just leave us alone. I don’t care what you do, just steer your power trip clear of us.
ROY
Just for that Ben, I’m confiscating your sandwich.
ROY takes BEN’s sandwich and stuffs it in his and chews loudly with his mouth open.
BEN
That’s my sandwich!
ROY
(food still in his mouth)
You can’t mess with me Ben, I’m a TA.
ROY walk away, leaving BEN furious.
ALEX
What are we going to do Ben?
BEN
I know exactly what we’re going to do.
CUT TO:
INT. THE OFFICE – DAY
BEN, ALEX and LENNY are in the office standing in front of Principal’s door.
ALEX
We’re going to tell the principal?
LENNY
Even I’m too cool for that.
BEN
I don’t know, I guess I’m just out of ideas. Plus, he might see things are way.
ALEX
You know as well as I do that Mr. Reynolds won’t give a damn. I’m convinced the only reason he took this job was to ogle the secretary.
Camera turns to show a very attractive secretary. She smiles and waves.
BEN
Well it’s worth a shot.
MR. REYNOLDS comes out of his office.
MR. REYNOLDS
This better be good. I’m almost done downloading... something.
ALEX
(aside to the others)
Hold your breath, we’re going in.
The boys enter the office. There’s garbage and old food everywhere. Several dirty magazines lay on his desk.
MR. REYNOLDS
So what’s the problem?
ALEX
Roy destroyed my mp3 player.
LENNY
I was there I saw it.
MR. REYNOLDS
(sighs)
I’ll page Roy.
MR. REYNOLDS pages Roy. Five or ten seconds pass and then comes running sweating and exhausted.
ROY
(out of breath)
You paged me sir?
MR. REYNOLDS
Alex here said you broke his mp3 player. Is this true?
ROY
Alex refused to do is work. I deemed this correct punishment.
MR. REYNOLDS
Well look Alex, I’d love to help you out. But if I were to do something about this, well that would involve me actually doing something. You’re free to go Roy.
ROY smiles arrogantly at the guys and then leaves.
ALEX
That’s it? This is insane. The system is corrupt.
MR. REYNOLDS
Every system is corrupt son. Deal with it.
The guys begin to file out of the office when BEN spots some black lights in the corner of MR. REYNOLDS office.
BEN
Are those black lights?
MR. REYNOLDS
Ummm... yeah. I threw a party here last weekend.
BEN
A party?
MR. REYNOLDS
You know... for the teachers.
BEN
(skeptical)
Ah, I see. Would you mind if we threw a party of our own? You know, to celebrate the start of school. That way I won’t have to tell the superintendent that you were using school property for a party that we both know wasn’t for the teachers.
MR. REYNOLDS
Ah, what do I care, it’s not like you actually learn anything here.
The guys walk out of the office.
BEN
Guys, it’s time to take matters into our own hands.
CUT TO:
INT. HALLWAY- DAY
The guys are walking back into school. They have some bags suggesting they’ve been shopping.
BEN
Alex, you have art next right?
ALEX
Yeah.
BEN
Alright, get working on this stuff.
ALEX
Will do.
LENNY
I don’t know if we can pull this off Ben.
BEN
Trust me Lenny. Look, here comes Roy.
ROY struts over.
ROY
So I hear you’re having a party. Who authorized this?
BEN
Mr. Reynolds.
ROY
Well... am I invited?
BEN
Why of course Roy. All that stuff today is water under the bridge. In fact, I was hoping you could supervise.
ROY
(excited)
Why of course guys.
BEN
Actually, do you think you could set it up? We’re holding it in an empty classroom downstairs.
ROY
Sure, no problem guys!
BEN
Excellent, I’ve left all the stuff downstairs.
ROY
I’m on it!
Roy hurries downstairs.
BEN
The fish has taken the bait.
CUT TO:
INT. ENGLISH CLASS - DAY
BEN enters English class. He’s late.
MRS. JACKSON
You’re late.
BEN
So?
MRS. JACKSON
(pauses a moment)
Good point. Take a seat.
BEN finds a seat between a young girl dressed somewhat like a hippy and another guy wearing a sports jersey.
MOLLY
Hey Ben.
PAUL
What’s up Ben?
BEN
Hey guys. Actually, I have a predicament. Care to help?
MOLLY
What’s the problem?
BEN
Well, you see, there’s this girl.
PAUL
Thata boy Ben.
BEN
Hold off on the compliments for now, I just met her this morning.
MOLLY
Awww... You want to ask her out.
BEN
I’ve been contemplating it. Either that or just keep my emotions bottled up inside until I slowly become depressed and begin wallow in my own self pity.
PAUL
Dude, asking a girl out isn’t that hard. You just need to give her the look.
MOLLY
It takes more than a look to win a girl’s heart.
PAUL puts a ridiculous look on his face.
BEN
What the hell is that?
PAUL
That’s my sexy look.
BEN
You sure that’s not the look you use to drive the ugly girls away?
PAUL
Trust me, it works.
MOLLY
Please, a blind girl would be driven away with that look. Girls want a
sensitive guy, someone to share their inner most feelings.
PAUL
Dude, if this girl wants to share her inner most feelings with you, she’s not
worth it.
MOLLY
Oh, I see. So your ideal girl is someone who doesn’t ask any questions, just wants sex?
PAUL
Hey, give me some credit. I don’t want sex all the time. If that’s all we ever did she wouldn’t have time to feed me.
MOLLY
You pig!
PAUL
Hey, I don’t appreciate that. Pigs are fat!
MOLLY and PAUL begin to argue.
BEN
Hey, cut it out guys.
They continue to argue.
BEN
Hey. HEY!
MOLLY and PAUL stop fighting.
BEN
C’mon guys, I need a battle plan. Napoleon’s troops wouldn’t have followed him across Europe if he was just winging it. What should I do?
MOLLY
Just be your self.
BEN
Yeah, like that ever really works.
CUT TO:
INT. HALLWAY - DAY
ALEX and LENNY are standing outside the classroom they’re using for the party. ALEX is holding a black t-shirt. BEN rounds the corner.
BEN
How are thing’s going here.
ALEX
Things are really coming together. Roy has quite the decorative touch.
BEN
Well I don’t think any of us are surprised at that. Did you finish the shirt?
ALEX holds up the t-shirt. It reads “World’s Greatest TA”.
BEN
Excellent. And what about the other part?
ALEX
Done according to your specifications.
BEN
Brilliant.
LENNY
I have a question.
BEN
What is it Lenny.
LENNY
Doesn’t a party usually consist of people?
BEN
Hmmm... Good point. Okay, Alex, you and I will round up some people for this
party. Lenny, you stay here, make sure everything goes smoothly.
LENNY
Will do guys.
BEN and ALEX head off down the hall. LENNY goes inside the classroom. Roy is just finishing setting up.
LENNY
Wow, it looks nice in here.
ROY
Yeah, my dad was an interior designer.
LENNY
Your dad? Doesn’t really seem like something a guy does.
ROY
Oh, lots of guys do it. In fact, my dad’s best friend is a designer. They hang out all the time, sometimes late into the night.
LENNY gives him a strange look.
ROY
It’s so nice he has a friend to hang out with.
LENNY
Depends what exactly is “hanging out”.
ROY
What?
LENNY
Nothing.
A short period of awkward silence ensues.
ROY
So, I hear you have a girlfriend.
LENNY
Yeah.
ROY
Have you uhh... done anything with her?
LENNY
I don’t know. Her hand brushed against my butt once.
ROY
Really?
LENNY
Yeah.
ROY
Nice.
LENNY
Yup.
More awkward silence.
ROY
You know, I got with a girl once.
LENNY
Really, what happened?
ROY
Well I met this girl one night in the movie store, and I could tell she was
really into me. So we got to talking and then before I knew we were back at my place, you know, doing stuff.
LENNY
(intrigued)
Yeah, what kind of stuff?
ROY looks around.
ROY
Sex.
LENNY
You had sex!
ROY
Oh yeah.
LENNY
How was it?
ROY
Amazing.
LENNY
Wow.
ROY
Yup.
Awkward silence.
LENNY
You didn’t have sex did you.
ROY
(hesitates for a moment)
No.
LENNY nods.
LENNY
So it was all a lie?
ROY
My life’s so sad.
CUT TO:
INT. HALLWAY - DAY
BEN and ALEX are standing in the hallway observing the kids walk by.
ALEX
So how do we decide who gets to come to the party?
BEN
Well I think what we’re looking for are certain physical characteristics.
ALEX
Ah, I hear ya.
BEN
Should we post a sign, make an announcement?
ALEX
Leave it to me.
ALEX cups his hands around his mouth.
ALEX
(shouting)
Anyone want to miss class?!
Al the kids in the hall run over and gather around BEN and ALEX.
ALEX
Alright, listen up folks. We’re holding a party. Now, we can only invite so many people.
BEN
Keep in mind this is completely random.
BEN and ALEX look over the crowd and discuss who they want.
ALEX.
Okay, we’ve made our decision. We’ll take you, you, you, you, you...
ALEX keeps naming people, all of whom are attractive girls. ALEX finally finishes.
RANDOM GUY
Hey, you picked all girls.
BEN
Well, after years of persecution maybe it’s time to give them a break.
Everyone who wasn’t invited disperses.
ALEX
Alright ladies, lets go have our selves a party!
BEN, ALEX and all the girls head down the hall.
CUT TO:
INT. PARTY CLASSROOM - DAY
LENNY and ROY are in the classroom waiting for the others. BEN, ALEX and the girls enter. BEN walks over to LENNY.
LENNY
I see we have a nice variety of guests.
BEN
Yeah, yeah. How are things here?
LENNY
Everything’s ready. We’re good to go.
ALEX walks over to them.
ALEX
We all set?
BEN
Yeah, go give Roy the shirt and then we’ll get started.
ALEX walks over to ROY.
ALEX
Hey, Roy.
ROY
(suspicious)
Yes.
ALEX
Look, let’s let bygones be bygones. In fact, I have a peace offering for you.
ALEX holds out the shirt that reads “World’s Greatest TA”.
ROY
Why Alex, what a pleasant surprise. I don’t know what to say.
ALEX
Well try it on.
ROY puts on the shirt.
ROY
Wow, nice shirt. What is it polyester?
ALEX
Cotton.
ROY
I love cotton.
ALEX
It’s the best.
BEN walks up to the front of the room and picks up a microphone.
BEN
Alright everyone, you guys ready party?
Everyone cheers.
BEN
Okay. We’re almost ready to get started. But first, I’d like to introduce our supervisor and TA Roy. Give it up for Roy everyone.
Everyone claps unenthusiastically. BEN motions for ROY to come over. ROY picks up the microphone.
ROY
Hello. Everyone ready to get funky?!
Silence ensues.
ROY
Ok, well lets be safe everyone. We can have fun while abiding by the school code of conduct. I’ll be watching all of you to make sure all school rules are followed.
ROY points to his eyes and then to everyone else. BEN takes the microphone from ROY.
BEN
Okay, well. If everyone’s ready, lets party!
ALEX turns on the music.
BEN
ROY, why don’t you get us started?
ROY
Well I don’t...
BEN
C’mon you can do it. Roy, Roy, Roy, Roy...
Everyone starts chanting.
ROY
Well okay.
Roy starts dancing. He starts out self conscious but begins to get more confident. He begins to do a “raise the roof” gesture. Everyone begins to cheer. Suddenly the lights go out and BEN turns on the black lights. Suddenly Roy’s shirt lights up with the message “Down With Feminism!” The room suddenly goes quiet. Roy doesn’t notice and continues to dance.
GIRL 1
You pig!
GIRL 2
How dare you!
GIRL 3
Lets get him!
ROY begins to realize he might be in trouble. He stops dancing. All the girls rush him. ROY lets out a girlish scream. They begin to beat him up. BEN and
ALEX high five. BEN notices the janitor working outside the door.
BEN
I’m going to go outside for a sec.
ALEX
And miss this?
BEN
I won’t be long.
BEN walks outside. He closes the door.
ROBERT
Hey, how’s the party going?
BEN
Good, we’ll try not to make a mess.
ROBERT
Thanks, they’re really cutting down on my supplies. Is Windex really too much to ask?
BEN
I’m sorry to hear that Rob. Look, I have a problem.
ROBERT
What’s seems to be the issue?
BEN
It’s a girl.
ROBERT
Ah yes. The opposite sex can be quite perplexing.
BEN
Look, I really like her. I just don’t know what to do. Should I give her a look, should I be sensitive? Please don’t say just be myself.
ROBERT
(laughs)
Ben, you’re thinking about this too much. Guys and girls are more alike than you would think. We’re all looking for same thing, someone who gets us, someone we get along with, who we can have a good time with. Just tell her how you feel Ben. What’s the worst that can happen?
BEN
Do I really need to explain that? Rejection, humiliation...
ROBERT
So you’d rather live your life never knowing whether she liked you or not?
BEN
I guess not.
ROY runs out of the classroom and shut the door. His glasses are crooked and his cloths or torn. He’s very distressed.
ROY
You got to help me Ben, those girls have gone nuts. I don’t know what got into them.
BEN
Oh, you know. Girls and their hormones.
ROY
I guess so.
BEN
Look, go hide in that closet. If they come ask I’ll tell them you went down the hall.
ROY
You’re a life saver Ben.
BEN
I do what I can.
ROY takes off.
BEN
So what should I do?
ROBERT
Life isn’t always simple.
The girls burst out of the classroom.
GIRL 1
Where’s Roy?
BEN
(points)
Closet.
GIRL 1
Thanks.
BEN
No problem
The girls head to the closet.
BEN
Sorry, you were saying?
ROBERT
Sometimes we need to take risks In life to make gains.
ROY’s screams are heard in the background as ROBERT talks.
ROBERT
If it’s meant to be it’s meant to be. If things don’t work out you just move on. Trust me, you’ll regret it if you never at least try.
BEN
Thanks Rob.
ROBERT
Anytime buddy.
ROBERT goes back to sweeping. The girls walk by dragging ROY behind them.
ROY
Robert, please, for the love of God, help me!
ROBERT moves out of the way of the girls and gives them a friendly wave.
CUT TO:
INT. PARTY CLASSROOM - DAY
BEN walks back into the classroom. He spots LACY. He walks over to her.
BEN
Lacy? What are you doing here?
LACY
I heard there was a party. I hope you don’t mind me stopping by.
BEN
Oh, by all means.
BEN picks up a bowl.
BEN
Cheese doodle?
LACY
No thanks, I’m trying to cut back.
BEN
Can’t blame a person for being healthy. Lacy, can we talk about something?
LACY
No.
BEN
What?
LACY
I’m kidding Ben. What do you want to talk about?
BEN
Ever since we met today I just can’t stop thinking about...
Suddenly LENNY comes over and puts his arm around LACY.
LENNY
Ben, I see you met my girlfriend.
BEN is shocked for a second.
BEN
Oh, yeah, we met in French class this morning. So you two huh?
LENNY
Who would have thunk it?
BEN
No kidding.
LENNY
Hey Lacy, we better get going. My mom’s here to pick us up.
LACY
Alright, I’ll be right there.
LENNY
Okay.
LENNY kisses her goodbye and leaves.
LACY
Sorry Ben, what were you saying?
BEN
Oh, you know what? Forget about it, it’s nothing important.
LACY
You sure?
BEN
Yeah, I’ll see you tomorrow.
LACY
Definitely. Have a good one.
BEN
You too.
LACY leaves the class. ALEX comes over and puts his arm around BEN.
ALEX
The plan went off without a hitch. That was beautiful.
BEN
What? Oh yeah, it worked great.
ALEX
Everything alright?
BEN
What do you expect, I’m at school.
ALEX
(laughs)
Yeah, I guess you’re right.
The bell rings signaling the end of school. BEN and ALEX head for the door.
ALEX
It’s going to be a long year.
BEN
Tell me about it.
END
