GRAMS: ANTIQUE ROADSHOW THEME.
PETER MANDELSON IS SAT AT A TABLE. THE FIRST PUNTER COMES ON CARRYING A LARGE CHINA CHAMBER POT. HE SITS DOWN, PLACING THE POT ON THE TABLE, MANDELSON PICKS IT UP AND BEGINS EXAMINING IT.
MANDELSON
Now what do we have here? Oh this is nice. Yes, yes I thought so, there is a date. 1751. Royal Worcester and Spode.
FIRST PUNTER
That's right. We're the administrator. Is it worth anything?
MANDELSON
It's a lovely piece. But not to the modern taste I am afraid. There is very little demand for British manufacturing industry these days.
FIRST PUNTER
Oh dear. We had hoped perhaps the old factory site might bring a good price?
MANDELSON
In today's property market? Oh no I don't think so.
FIRST PUNTER
So what do you suggest we do with it?
MANDELSON
There's a skip out the back. Next!
THE FIRST PUNTER EXITS. A SECOND PUNTER COMES ON, WEARING A CAR COAT, DRIVING GLOVES AND A CAP, ABOVE THE BRIM OF WHICH ARE PERCHED A PAIR OF GOGGLES. HE SITS DOWN RUBBING HIS HANDS.
SECOND PUNTER
So what's the old jalopy industry worth...
MANDELSON SUCKS IN AIR THROUGH HIS TEETH.
END.