To the tune of ALL THAT JAZZ from CHICAGO:
JONATHAN ROSS:
Come on Rus-
-sel, go pick up the phone
Call Andrew Sachs
RUSSELL BRAND:
Oh me oh my
Seems like he's not at home
Where's Andrew Sachs?
How the hell're
We gonna fill this slot?
We should be talking to him
But instead we're not
The show must go on
And so af-ter the tone (BEEP)
Hi And-rew Sachs!
Sad to hear
That we can't talk to you
Sir Andrew Sachs
Still, let's carry on
And do the interview
With Andrew Sachs
Hi there Andy
We think you're talented
ROSS:
He f**ked your granddaughter
In a king-size bed
While you were at the shops
She was giving him head
Sir And-rew
ROSS AND BRAND:
Sachs
ROSS:
Sex
BRAND:
Don't be so crass
ROSS:
Hot-cha
Whoopee
She liked to spank his ass
BOTH:
(soft and diabolic)
Ha! ha! ha!
BRAND:
Oh, what have we done?
Was just a bit of fun
Sir And-rew- Sachs
ROSS:
Our audience
Don't like this abuse
Of Andrew Sachs
Who'd have thought
That it would make the news?
We're un-der attack
BRAND:
Come on Wossy
Let's go tell the folks
That it was just some fun
Was just a silly joke
And we didn't mean
To upset that bloke
Called And-rew Sachs
BOTH:
Oh, even Gordon Brown
And Cameron
Have called us sick
Oh, the wanker bankers never
Got so much
Pres-sure to quit
Oh, to think they're all complaining
When, the economy is waning
Still, the air turned blue
On Points of View
‘Cos of our pranks
Now we've both
Made an apology
To Andrew Sachs
Still we're sus-pen-ded
From the BBC
BRAND:
I got the sack!
Never mind
We're still millionaires
ROSS:
We've got no graces
BRAND:
And we've got no airs
And if truth be told
I did her on the stairs
And that's a fact
BOTH:
Oh, you can see Georgina
Shimmy Shake
She shakes that ass
Oh, the Satanic Sluts go dancing
Till dawn breaks
She is real class
She even wears a girdle
Oh, her Grandad's blood'd curdle
If he'd hear
His baby's career
Poor And-rew sachs