LORAINE KELLY IS INTERVIEWING JOHN PRESCOTT AND PAULINE PRESCOTT.
LK IS DRINKING A SMOOTHIE
LK
Hello and welcome to LK today. Today I'm on the green, blue and the great big purple tablets in a smoothie. I'm joined on the coach by John Prescott and his lovely wife Pauline.
JOHN(MUMBLES SEMI COHERENTLY THROUGH OUT THE INTERVIEW)
Chip on shoulder, grumble, chips yum love chips.
LK
John your new show The Muddle Classes has been described as incomprehenisble, embittered and crap.
JOHN
TV, bloody poncy tarts, like jam tarts.
LK
But your wife has proved to be a bit of a star.
PAULINE
Oh thank you sweetheart, yes the job offers have just come rolling on.
LK
Ooh do tell, hope it's not a chatshow (BEAT) better not be, I'll cut you.
PAULINE
No me and John have been on how to Look Good Naked, he couldn't.
LK
What else?
PAULINE
Ministry of food. Not so good he bit Jamie Oliver.
JOHN
Bloody ponce, touch John's pie, John bite ya.
PAULINE
Dog borstal.
LK
Didn't know you had a dog?
PAULINE
Don't be silly. No that lovely Mick Martin stopped John shitting on the governemnt, humping secretaries and punching farmers.
LK
How did he do that?
PAULINE
Castrated him.
JOHN
Bloody meat and no veg, like gravy.