British Comedy Guide

Billions

GORDON BROWN IS TALKING TO MERVYN KING.

MERVYN

Gordon this 50 billion pounds you gave the banks to pay off their toxic debts.

GORDON

And restart the economy.

MERVYN

They'd like some more.

GORDON

Crivens there's more toxic debts?

MERVYN

No

GORDON

So what did you spend the last lot on?

MERVYN

Well there was bonuses, we ran out of toilet paper and it's funny dropping bundles of £50 notes on tramps. The rest we just wasted.

GORDON

So I give you billions and you steal it, wipe your bum on it or throw it on the window.

MERVYN

Yes (BEAT) it's what Thatcher would have done.

GORDON

That's alright then, another £50 billion do you?

MERVYN

Oh one more thing. Big Issue Big Issue.

GORDON

Jings and crivens, alright then Mervyn how much?

MERVYN

Billion pounds, help the shameless.

Not that keen on the sketch, but love "Crivens".

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