DAVE MILLIBAND IS WALKING ON STAGE WITH A UN COMMANDER.
UN
Mr Milliband it is good to hear your government hasn't forgotten the refugees in Congo. But how will you settle the war between 1000s of desperate fighters?
DAVID
It's well in hand with Millerband. It's all in this letter, which I will now read to them.
THEY TURN TO FACE AUDIENCE.
FX SOUND OF ANGRY MURMURING MOB.
OPENS ENVELOPES AND READS
DAVID
People of the Congo I come here to ask you. How do you spot my mate chalky in the dark? Ask him to smile, nik nik.
You bunch of shandy drinkers I'll take you all on, on my own.
UN RUNS OFF
FX SOUND OF CROWD GETTING ANGRY AND ADVANCING ON MILLIBAND.
MILLIBAND KEEPS READING.
MILLIBAND
Ha ha Silly-gland, that'll teach you to try and pinch my job.
Gordon.