ANDREW SACHS IS TALKING TO A BBC EXEC.
BBC
Mr Sachs, the BBC is so sorry that a national treasure like your self was victimised. We will be making root and branch changes to our programing.
ANDREW
Really?
BBC
Have I got news for you is now, have I got some lovely new for you. We'll be only using the People's Friend and we've shot Paul Merton.
ANDREW
Good.
BBC
The League of Gentlemen is now The League of true Gentlemen. Alan Titmarsh and Fern Britten will run a corner shop.
ANDREW
Will they ask if people are local?
BBC
Yes then they give him directions and an eccles cake.
ANDREW
Fantastic.
BBC
There is one show we have had to just get rid of.
ANDREW
Jonathon Ross's show?
BBC
No, this one is full of racism and violence. Against the Spanish, the Americans and even the Germans come in for a pasting.
ANDREW
Que?
BBC
Fawlty Towers you hypocrite.
BBC SMACKS ANDREW OVER THE HEAD