Hi,
I was just wondering if anyone could give me any feedback on this? This is the first time I have written anything. Before today I had no idea how to even arrange a script (and still don't think I have done it correctly).
I had the idea for the character earlier today and just got bored and wrote this just now. I have ideas for other sketches with the same character.
It is obviously just a small sketch
INT. Phone shop - DAY
CUSTOMER ENTERS PHONE SHOP AND APPROACHES CLIFF
CUSTOMER
Hi, I was looking for a new mobile phone
CLIFF
In a phone shop? I would have never guessed
CUSTOMER
What?
CLIFF
Just a little joke. We like to have little jokes here.
CUSTOMER
Okay...
CLIFF
So what kind of phone were you looking for?
CUSTOMER
I was looking at the iPhone
CLIFF
Hmmm
CUSTOMER
What does that mean?
CLIFF
Nothing. Please come sit down at my desk so we can discuss this properly
CLIFF POINTS TO HIS DESK AND THEY BOTH APPROACH IT TO SIT DOWN
CLIFF
So....iPhone.
CUSTOMER
Yeah.
CLIFF
I'm not 100% if that is the right phone for you.
CUSTOMER
What's wrong with it?
CLIFF
You know...
CUSTOMER
I don't know...
CLIFF
Okay let me just nip round back to get an iPhone.
CLIFF GETS UP AND COMES BACK WITH AN IPHONE
CLIFF
Here it is. Lets open this up
CUSTOMER
Do we have to open it up? I have checked reviews online, I'm happy with the iPhone
CLIFF
Well...we have to open it up really
CUSTOMER
Why?
Cliff
Just to make sure everything is fine.
CUSTOMER
What could be wrong?
CLIFF
Well you know...
CLIFF OPENS THE IPHONE BOX AS THE CUSTOMER LOOKS ON IN DISAPPOINTMENT
CLIFF
Ah just as I thought
CUSTOMER
What?
CLIFF
This isn't the right phone for you
CUSTOMER
What's wrong with it?
CLIFF
Are you a fan of ''The Corrs''
CUSTOMER LOOKS PUZZLED
CUSTOMER
What's that?
CLIFF
I knew you were a big fan. Sorry to disappoint but the iPhone doesn't have any ringtones featuring ''The Corrs''
CUSTOMER
I really don't care about that
CLIFF
Don't be silly. From the moment I first saw you I knew you were a big fan of ''The Corrs''
CUSTOMER
I really don't know who they are mate
CLIFF
I have the right phone for you
CLIFF PULLS A NOKIA 3210 OUT OF HIS POCKET
CLIFF
Here it is
CUSTOMER
Please don't tell me you are trying to sell me that phone
CLIFF
Alright mate, no need to throw insults.
CUSTOMER
I don't want that phone.
CLIFF
Let me just run you through the features before you make any crazy decisions.
CUSTOMER
I want an iPhone.
CLIFF
Alright mate, but first let me just run you through the features of the phone. I think you might like the ringtones on this
CLIFF MESSES AROUND WITH THE PHONE FOR A MINUTE UNTIL HE FINDS THE RINGTONES. HE PUTS ON THE ''STAR WARS THEME'' RINGTONE AND STARTS AD LIBBING ''Runaway'' BY ''The Corrs''
CLIFF
See, I knew you would like this ringtone. It's ''The Corrs'' I heard you were a big fan.
CUSTOMER
That's the star wars theme song
CLIFF
Ohhh watch out guys we have a trekky
CUSTOMER
Look mate I came here to buy an iPhone and to be honest that is all I want.
CLIFF
I didn't want to mention it before but I feel I should tell you.
CUSTOMER
Tell me what?
CLIFF
I think somoene pissed on this iPhone
CUSTOMER
What?
CLIFF
You know, just took a massive piss all over it
CUSTOMER
Looks new to me
CLIFF
Yeah...that's what they want you to think
CUSTOMER
Who are ''they''?
CLIFF
The people who go around pissing everywhere
THE PHONE RINGS (NOKIA 3210), CLIFF LOOKS EMBARRASSED AND DESPERATLY STOPS THE RINGING
CLIFF
That was nothing
CUSTOMER
Is that your phone? Are you trying to sell me your own personal phone?
CLIFF
Sell you my phone? haha
CUSTOMER
That's your phone isnt it?
CLIFF
Yes, yes it is
CUSTORMER ANGRILY SHAKES HIS HEAD, GETS UP AND WALKS AWAY. CLIFF SITS DOWN LOOKING DISAPPOINTED. A NEW CUSTOMER APPROACHES HIS DESK
NEW CUSTOMER
Hi, I'm looking for the new iPhone
CLIFF
I'm not sure if that is the right phone for you
