The Legend of Nic and Joe - Radio sitcom

So we've written and recorded 6 half hour episodes of a sitcom and the first ep was released Saturday, and we'd like to know what you think of the first episode. You can listen on

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eSPF5WBl0WQ

Or

https://soundcloud.com/nicandjoelegend/the-legend-of-nic-and-joe

Or you can download the ep free of charge via;

http://www.last.fm/music/Nic+&+Joe/The+Legend+of+Nic+and+Joe/Chapter+I:+Death+Becomes+Her

It'd be nice to know what you think about it. Being as constructively critical as possible.

Obviously asking for half an hour of someones time is a big ask but we've put a hell of a lot of effort into this and I think it shows in the sheer quality of the production values (in case anyone was interested this was completely home made and didn't cost a penny to make).

I had a go, but the intro was far too long winded and the story teller needed to f**king hurry up as well.
So I can't comment on the main body as I bailed out.
Take that as you will critique wise, but this could be brilliant in content so I'm not slating it I'm just giving you an insight into what a stranger thinks.
Get in quicker and I'll stay the course as I love new comedy, but as it stands the intro is working agin it!

Quote: Teddy Paddalack @ June 26 2013, 5:26 PM BST

I had a go, but the intro was far too long winded and the story teller needed to f**king hurry up as well.
So I can't comment on the main body as I bailed out.
Take that as you will critique wise, but this could be brilliant in content so I'm not slating it I'm just giving you an insight into what a stranger thinks.
Get in quicker and I'll stay the course as I love new comedy, but as it stands the intro is working agin it!

View original

While it's a shame you didn't listen to the main body at all, if the intro and story teller didn't catch your ear and make you want to listen longer then that's fair enough.

Thanks for the feedback, nonetheless.

The truth is that if you're lucky one person who counts may take the time to listen to it with a view to taking it further and as it stands the elongated intro could put them off.
Cut to the chase, once your established you can do what you want and they'll let you. But at this moment in time you are competing against Radio, TV and the internet, so omit the intro and get them hooked on actual content!

T

Again thank you for the feedback.

If someone can't listen to just over three minutes of an introduction to a story, and what will be an integral part of future episodes or comedic moments then that's a big shame. Patience is a virtue after all.

I can completely understand what you are saying, and why you're saying it though. Then again this isn't a sketch, it's a full half hour episode, so if someone chooses to listen to it then the pace should be expected (I did note that in my original post). That said for the piece as a whole it adds to the building of the storyline throughout the episode, and subsequent episodes, so it's right for the piece and as a result it won't be changed.

Again thank you for the feedback though.

Hi Nic and Joe,

Firstly, well done on getting something made. That takes real dedication and is something that very few people are able to do.

However, as to the content, I'm afraid I'm with Teddy. We have 3 mins 41 seconds of:

1)Some stuff about stories and legends, which is overlong and tells us nothing at all really

2) Music for what feels like an age

3) A man, who we don't know, telling a girl we don't know that he's going to tell her a story, but not actually telling her a story.

I don't really see how any of that could ever be relevant to the plot or future stories.

I know you say patience is a virtue - but it is not a virtue that a writer should ever expect of his or her audience. You cannot expect people to listen to something that is, to be frank, pretty uninteresting on the basis that it might get more interesting later on.

The fact is, most producers are busy people and would have turned off 30 seconds in. I only persisted because I wanted to give you some feedback on the sitcom itself.

From 3:41 to 9:00, we have Nic and Joe sitting in a producers office. They get a pilot. That scene could have been done in 1 min 30 secs - there is too much filler and banter about not very much.

There is no tension, your characters are interchangable and it's moving along at a snail pace.

I'm afraid I gave up 14 minutes in, and I really tried hard to keep going with it. I'm sure you have the semblance of a story there, but it needs to move a LOT faster.

You need to give your characters some characteristics - I get the impression that they are based on the pair of you. But sitcom characters are bigger, bolder, more outrageous than normal people.

And lastly, I'm afraid I didn't laugh. Sorry. That might just be my humour though, and I may have laughed more if the story moved quicker.

My favourite radio sitcom is 'Cabin Pressure' - John Finnemore is an excellent writer and any aspiring radio writer would be well advised to learn from him.

I'm sorry I can't be more positive, but I hope what I have said is constructive. Good luck with it!

If that is how you want your shows to pan out then that's fine as having your own stance and values is a good trait but then your heading toward art/ niche rather than creating something that has shall we say commercial appeal?

If that's the case then my advice would be to send your tapes off to that art dickhead at BBC who's got no hair, thick glasses bad teeth and a hearing aid, he'll lap it up.
I wrote to him last week to tell him he would be better off putting his f**king head in the bin as nothing works on it, so he's used to hearing from BCGerss

Hey Jennie. Thanks for the feedback and constructive criticism, again appreciated. Some of which we might take on board for future episodes.

We'll have a listen to Cabin Pressure for sure.

No word about my advice regarding contacting the 'Defective Skull'?

I'm sure it was unintentional, but I think your response came across a bit unnecessarily aggressive, Teddy.

I forgot to say, Nic and Joe, that the production values were excellent and really show what is possible to achieve at home. Can I ask what equipment you used?

Jennie it is now all to common in this country for people to make the very basic mistake of deciphering the use of colloquialisms as being overtly aggressive, as such I cannot be held responsible for these peoples lack of understanding or their propensity for heightened sensibilities.

For my part I choose not to pander to this form of ignorance as for me it is force majure in the creation sterile English, which may prove to be precise in its usage but is devoid of the necessary emotions required to convey my personal brand of humour.

.

It is your right to conduct yourself however you wish Teddy. You had commented on their lack of response to you and I was simply suggesting a possible reason for it. I could of course be completely mistaken. Have a nice day

Thanks for briefing me on my rights Jennie as I was a little unsure at one point and nearly dithered but I'm alright now.
Lets cut to the chase kid as you were being silky and I was being less than silky but we both said relatively the same thing to these two guys.

But as everyone is already upset I'll be blunt, it was very poor, laboured and above all it wasn't funny.

T

Hi nic & joe,
I just found your website, where I left a short comment but then found this link. I'm afraid I have to agree with most of the comments above regarding your audio...
I've recently heard this new audio... http://comedypunkz.bandcamp.com/album/fanz-11-episode-3
(Currently free if you enter £0,)
I know it's a bit different to what you do, but it's a lot faster, tighter, sharper and funnier..I think the writer works for The British Society of Comedy Writers too. Maybe he could give you advice,( if you wanted it of course)
Sorry I couldn't be more positive

Having read earlier remarks I picked around your sitcom listening to extracts.

And nothing caught my attention.

So I'm going to offer you some blunt but hopefully helpful critique.

It's poor.

It lacks jokes, interesting story or any kind of hook. And when I say jokes I really mean any kind of humourous constructions at all.

You've made the fatal error of assuming you're actual lives are funny and writing about your lives. And that doesn't work ever.

I think in the future you would do well to plan your scripts, characters etc before recording.

Your technical skills are good. But this current sitcom is not going to take you any place I suspect you want to go.