Topical Sketch - Winehouse/Doherty

An idea I just came up with. What do you think to the ending? Too weak? I struggled with finishing it.

Int. Pete Doherty's flat

Pete Doherty is sat at a table. Amy Winehouse comes running in and sits down.

Amy: Oh my God! Have you heard the news?! Five! FIVE!!!

Pete: I know, I know. I can't believe it either. Neighbours on Channel 5!

Amy: No! Five Grammys! I got five Grammys!

Pete: Cool, looks like we're in for a good night.

Amy: Not Grams! Grammys! G-R-A-M-M-Y-S!

Pete: Oh, I got yer. I've got good news too.

Amy: You're off the smack?

Pete: Haha! Of course not! No, I've just secured a gig at The Royal Albert Hall.

Amy: Well done, mate! Are you nervous?

Pete: Nah not really. There's nothing scary about being a cleaner.

ENDS

Oh snap! Sucks to be Pete.

S'good! Especially the five bit.

I thought you were going to bring the camden fire into it - I wonder how many of them will be winging their way to newsrevue.

I thought it was snappy and funny, although I didn't like the punch line as much as I liked the rest of it.

Agree with Hoskinator.

My fav bit was the grammys.

Hi Winterlight

I liked this one. Good confusion gags and the ending wasn't too bad either.

Well I made one minor change to Pete's 4th line and sent if off as it is. NewsRevue's final submission date is today, so I hope it's not too late already.

Well good luck with it Winterlight! It's a good un!

I'm sorry, are we reading the same thing here ??

Let's be honest for once, This sketch is boring, predictable and totally unoriginal. It seems there is a lot of back slapping on this site, which I suppose is 'nice' but it doesn't do anyone any favours in the long run does it.

By all means have another go, but honestly, that particular one is so far off the mark.

Talking of predictable...

I don't think I've seen a critique thread yet where someone doesn't come on saying 'I think it's bad, and anyone who disagrees cannot possibly just have a different opinion to me, they MUST be back slapping!'.

(P.S. in other news, welcome to the forum.)

Oh come on Zooo, can you honestly see that as a sketch on TV or Radio [ or any medium come to that ].

It just isn't strong enough and I'm sure deep down you agree, you must be playing the diplomatic card for some reason, which is fine.

All I am saying is that it doesn't do the guy any favours. If his aim is to improve he must be told when he is so obviously firing comedy blanks.

Quote: Pat_Rice @ February 12, 2008, 7:11 PM

I'm sorry, are we reading the same thing here ??

Let's be honest for once, This sketch is boring, predictable and totally unoriginal. It seems there is a lot of back slapping on this site, which I suppose is 'nice' but it doesn't do anyone any favours in the long run does it.

By all means have another go, but honestly, that particular one is so far off the mark.

View original

Well I can tell from you're 1 post that you obviously have read all the critique threads and are offering a worthwhile, well researched opinion. Nice one

It was an alright sketch winterlight but i think that the Grammys bit should have been the punchline and the twist should be they are refering to drugs rather than the award.

Quote: Pat_Rice @ February 12, 2008, 7:19 PM

Oh come on Zooo, can you honestly see that as a sketch on TV or Radio (or any medium come to that).

It just isn't strong enough and I'm sure deep down you agree, you must be playing the diplomatic card for some reason, which is fine.

All I am saying is that it doesn't do the guy any favours. If his aim is to improve he must be told when he is so obviously firing comedy blanks.

View original

I didn't say it was perfect.

I'm not exactly a pro, however, so I agree that my opinion, either way, isn't particularly helpful to the writer.

But it genuinely made me laugh and I wanted to tell him that.

Quote: ajp29 @ February 12, 2008, 7:20 PM

Well I can tell from you're 1 post that you obviously have read all the critique threads and are offering a worthwhile, well researched opinion. Nice one

It was an alright sketch winterlight but i think that the Grammys bit should have been the punchline and the twist should be they are refering to drugs rather than the award.

View original

Sorry, how would reading all the critique threads somehow make this particular sketch any better ?. Please explain .

I don't want to make enemies here. I'm sorry, I thought this was a 'critique forum'. Does that not imply some kind of judgement.

No enemies!
(so far.)