CAMERA SHOWS TWO MEN.ONE MAN HAS A BOARD THATS SAYS "EQUALITY" ON IT AND IS PROTESTING.
Tyrone
Equality! Peace! We want them now!!
Jake
Tyrone?
Tyrone
We blacks are not second class citizens! We deserve equality!
Jake
Tyrone, stop it!
Tyrone
Why should I stop fighting for our brothers? I'm not afraid to say what's on my mind! Come on Jake, give me one good reason why I should stop!
(CAMERA PANS OUT TO REVEAL THAT THEY'RE IN CHURCH)
Jake
(SIGHS) (WALKS OUT OF CHURCH,LOOKING ANNOYED)
Cool! I would change them being on a bus though. I would have them in the Doctors Surgery or in a brothel. Somewhere really pointless to protest. Just my opinion though.
Loved the idea. They could have a long run of protesting in silly places.
Or Church!
lol yeah church would be better, I only said the bus because I was on the bus when I thought of the idea! Thanks for the feedback Charley!
Agree with Charley on this one Paul. Church would be ldeal.
Thanks Ray, I've taken Charley's advice and changed it to Church. Thanks for the advice!
Funny.
Do we need the line "We're in church" at all? Maybe you could just pan out to reveal it's a church and finish on Jake's exasperated face, or finish on Jake walking out in exasperation. I think a simple pan out and then Jake walking off in annoyance, timed right, would be funnier.
But what do I know?!
Nice sketch anyway.
Thanks James mate, BTW your Paul McCartney/ Heather Mills song was excellent. One of the best things i've read on this site!
Don't say that Paul. He'll think he's good. 
I read it first time with the church. Works well, nice one Paul (one of your first sketches as a proper grown up 
).
Kudos to Charley as well, made a good sketch even better.
Quote: Paul Carroll @ February 12, 2008, 6:05 PMThanks James mate, BTW your Paul McCartney/ Heather Mills song was excellent. One of the best things i've read on this site!
Cheers!
Agree with James the last line of dialogue is unneeded. Nice gag.
Yes, you could just have Jake holding his hands out in exasperation as if to say "Look around"
Then 'camera pan' to reveal a church, with a perplexed vicar. The church could even be an all black church. Maybe that is going to far though. I dunno. Bloody good sketch though.
I agree with James. Just showing the church would be much funnier. And perhaps if they weren't black I don't really see why they have to be black.
Quote: Curt @ February 12, 2008, 9:07 PMI agree with James. Just showing the church would be much funnier. And perhaps if they weren't black I don't really see why they have to be black.
Agreed.
I just thought as the protesters are black & protesting in a church the congregation could all be black too.
Cool with them being any colour really.
I've just edited the sketch, is it any better? Thanks for the advice Guys.