You WILL read and you WILL like (45secs of text)

Door bell rings as Tom enters building

Cashier
"Good morning sir and welcome to money money money, how may we help you today?"

Tom
I need money

Cashier
Ah yes sir, we get a lot of that. How much money will you be needing?

Tom
I think £500 should do it

Cashier
Very good sir. £500 repaid over 3 months... that will cost you £100 a week and a leg

Tom
That's very reas... a leg!?

Cashier
Yes sir, one leg

Tom
But you can't take my leg

Cashier
Why not sir? A man came in last week and gave us his right arm; he only wanted to borrow the phone.

Tom
But it's my leg

Cashier
Yes sir

Tom
Well there must be laws against this sort of thing

Cashier
Hahahahahahaha I don't think so sir.

Tom
But it's immoral

Cashier
We don't judge sir. If you like we can negotiate

Tom
I'm not giving you a leg

Cashier
We can give you a 20% discount

Tom
Which leg would you like?

Cashier
Either will do sir. Can I ask what you need the money for?

Tom
Skiing holiday

Yep, fine.

Maybe this bit could be cut as it doesn't add anything:

Tom
Well there must be laws against this sort of thing

Cashier
Hahahahahahaha I don't think so sir.

Tom
But it's immoral

Cashier
We don't judge sir. If you like we can negotiate

I was trying to give it a topical edge as payday loans regulations are appearing more and more in the news. 'course the sketch doesn't make that very obvious and those lines don't do enough to convey any sort of message

The sketch is topical enough without the suggested cut section

On paper I actually like the full version precisely because it seems to be petering out before the very funny punchline.

Like it. I don't think it needs to be cut, particularly as I like the 'if you like we can negotiate' line.