Porridge
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INT. COTTAGE IN WOODS. DAY
CLOSE-UP OF ONE END OF TABLE. SMALL BEAR TURNS EMPTY CEREAL CARTON UPSIDE DOWN AND SHAKES.
SMALL BEAR:
(SQUEAKS) Who's been eating my porridge?
MEDIUM-SIZED BEAR IN APRON TURNS EMPTY CEREAL CARTON UPSIDE DOWN AND SHAKES.
MEDIUM-SIZE BEAR:
(POLITELY) And who's been eating my porridge?
ENORMOUS BEAR IN APRON TURNS EMPTY CEREAL CARTON UPSIDE DOWN AND SHAKES.
ENORMOUS BEAR:
(BOOMS) And *who*'s been eating *my* porridge!?
CAMERA PANS TO REALLY FAT KID AT OTHER END OF TABLE MESSILY SCOFFING MASSIVE BOWL OF PORRIDGE.
INTO SHOT ENTERS JEREMY KYLE, ARMED WITH MICROPHONE AND POINTING AGGRESSIVELY AT CAMERA.
JEREMY KYLE:
(AGGRESSIVE) Are your kids *fat*? Do they eat too much *sh&t*?! Then text us on 85058...
END