I mentioned on another thread about this glorious letter my son Jack (Then aged 8) wrote about me. He had to write about a member of his family & bless him he picked me.The teacher found it so funny she laminated it & handed it to me on a parents evening. I am not going to write it word for word as an 8 year olds grammar is far worse than my 9 year old grammar. I am holding it now as I type & it still makes me laugh. I will add in brackets the explanations when needed. This is everything he wrote though.
Here goes
My Mum.
My mum is very pretty. She has long yellow hair & some eyes. I don’t know what colour they are but sometimes when she shouts they are black. My mum works very hard. During the day, she puts on our washing & drinks coffee while it goes round.Sometimes she feels dizzy from it & has to sleep for many days;.
In the night times my mum is sometimes a police woman & others a nurse. (I was a kissogram for a while).My mum cooks all my dinners. Sometimes they are ok but she likes to make corned beef hash as often as she can which makes me feel sick.
I love it when mum takes me to the park. I get sad though when we have to leave. The law is that parks are only open for 15 minutes so that all the children around the world can have a go on the swing. Mum said we have to obey this law or we are selfish. When I grow up I am going to make more parks for more children to play in.
My mum is very funny. She says funny things like, if you swing that toy around anymore I will rip off your arm. She says other funny things all the time too. I love my mum and she has a very hard time. Mum says that bringing up boys is hard as they are more likely to be serial killers than girls. My mum is painting my house & she has paint fights with us. I like them.But I am not allowed to draw in books. Mum says that’s against the law & I will be hung.
When I was little she would hoover my hair. (True. They wanted it spiky)
I love my mum she makes me laugh.