Hi All
***redacted***
Thanks
s
Critique pls my darlings
The concept is a good one.
However when one juxtapose's the concept with the actual construction of the theory into the practical it may be deemed prudent to dumb it down in order to make it smarter.
That at prima facie could ostensibly be deemed to be almost oxymoronic in it's advisory premis but it is in fact the .........
You had me doing it for a minute
Look the idea is good but the writing is too up it's own arse.
It's comes across like a stand up routine from a regional scrabble club gala.
Simple is funny and it is also a skill!
I agree with Teddy here.
Very well written, if a little too superfluous.
If I might be so bold...
Remember, the same people that enjoy crude humour aren't necessarily the same people that will appreciate such elaborate language.
Thanks both for your thoughts
The reasoning behind my use of language was that otherwise it would sound quite repitive without tarting it up a bit
May need to wind it back a bit
Cheers for commenting
S
It's like Viz written by Stephen Fry.
oh ill take that Beaky
thanks for commenting
I thought you'd like that! I find the combination of flowery language and crudity rather appealing.
Rather like looking up 'F**k' in a dictionary then using the definition to flick through a thesaurus.
Jolly Good Beaky