British Comedy Guide

Status report Page 5,070

Quote: L.E. @ May 2 2013, 9:26 AM BST

But it feels nice in there!

Laughing out loud

Quote: Shandonbelle @ May 2 2013, 9:51 AM BST

One of my migraine friends has arrived just in time for the weekend....it will rue the day.

Console

Aww thank you zooo, I was only thinking yesterday that I hadn't had a migraine for a while Angry
Now it's given me a craving for hot buttered toast on thick bread, well if it insists..

Quote: Will Cam @ April 29 2013, 8:25 PM BST

Will Cam has a washing machine that beeps when it it finished. It beeps for about a f**king bastard hour.

OUR WILL CAM IS SITTING IN T'PARLOUR IN NOW BUT HIS FLAT CAP.

FX
Beep

FX
Beep

FX
Beep beep.

OUR WILL CAM
That bastard machine is still bastard.

MRS OUR WILL CAM OOV
Oh give over our Will Cam ya miserable bastard it's t'new technology, everyone one has one of them new fangled washing machines.

FX
Beep

OUR WILL CAM
Yeh well it's not washing my bastard clobber; not me trousers nor ma grundies. I haven't a stitch to wear and I can't go to t'local in the nudey. There's only one bastard pub you can go to int'all together and I got gang raped there.

FX
Beep

MRS OUR WILL CAM
Didn't stop you going twice then, thou degenerate pervert. You only stopped going because the beer was 3 shillings, tight wad.

FX
Beep

OUR WILL CAM
I will happens that maybe, but that bastard electric bastard washing machine not only beeps, it doesn't wash ma pants and it's blocking my view of thou bastard television.

PULL BACK TO REVEAL THAT MRS OUR WILL CAM IS SHAGGING THE WASHING MACHINE ON A BED PARKED INFRONT OF T'WIRELESS. THE WASHINE MACHINE IS INFACT PETER KAY IN A WASHING MACHINE COSTUME MADE OUT OF A CARDBOARD BOX AND TINFOIL

FX
Beep Beep Beep

OUR WILL CAM
I'm off down t'gay pub and I'm taking t'bastard whippet with me.

OUR WILL CAM WALKS OUT THE DOOR IN NOTHING BUT HIS FLAT CAP AND HOB NAILED BOOTS DRAGGING AN UNWILLING SOOTYJ, WHO HAS BEEN SPRAY PAINTED PINK WITH GLITTER AND HAS
"Whippet out!" DYED INTO HIS FUR IN PURPLE

The big reveal is a bit of a shocker Sooty.

Needs a holiday again. Only had one recently so the weekend will have to do for now.

Quote: Shandonbelle @ May 2 2013, 10:03 AM BST

Aww thank you zooo, I was only thinking yesterday that I hadn't had a migraine for a while Angry
Now it's given me a craving for hot buttered toast on thick bread, well if it insists..

Toast ON bread? I don't know if I could handle that amount of carbohydrates!

Are you back, L.E.? I thought you have a new job.

Quote: Shandonbelle @ May 2 2013, 10:03 AM BST

Aww thank you zooo, I was only thinking yesterday that I hadn't had a migraine for a while Angry
Now it's given me a craving for hot buttered toast on thick bread, well if it insists..

YUM!

It's not as warm as Ben was expecting, so he's eating sandwiches in his car rather than out on the grass.

Chip doesn't mind telling you he feels quite light headed. A manly fainting may be in order.

Quote: evan rubivellian @ May 2 2013, 12:07 PM BST

Toast ON bread? I don't know if I could handle that amount of carbohydrates!

It's just the way us Irish talk Evan ;)

Quote: chipolata @ May 2 2013, 2:13 PM BST

Chip doesn't mind telling you he feels quite light headed. A manly fainting may be in order.

Perhaps a medicinal satsuma?

Again: Is L.E. back? (I'll start a "Is L.E. back?"-thread if nobody answers)

Lol. Well, she's posting, so she must be!

Quote: Gordon Bennett @ May 2 2013, 2:25 PM BST

I'll start a "..."-thread if nobody answers

Ah, what a powerful new weapon! (Thanks, David Smith)

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